If it’s Summer, it means CBS has locked a bunch of reality TV wannabes up in a “house” on their studio lot. Yes boys and girls, it’s time for Big Brother again. It also means another season of suffering through the Chen-bot…I…um…mean the endearing host, Julie Chen. Ever wonder why Julie has a job? Might have to do with the fact she is married to the president of CBS, Les Moonves. But, I digress, I am here to pick on the 14 hamsters…I…um…mean “house guests”.
We are first introduced to the new house, which looks like a design student was set loose in each room to live out their fantasies. Result? Freakin ugly. Oh well. This house does have a second floor though, where the coveted Head of Household (HOH) room resides. Private bathroom included for the first time.
We are introduced to the hamsters for the first time as they do the traditional scramble for the beds. A quick rundown of who they are:
April – 30, Accented and has more teeth in her head than is natural.
Ashlea – 22, Design student, and not much to go on yet.
Beau – 25, Personal shopper and boa wearer.
Eric – 36, Boston Fire Fighter, and looks like he could bench press your car.
Howie -34, The resident loud mouth, Meteorology student…at the age of 34.
Ivette – 25, Cuban-American, and the first ever lesbian on the American BB.
James – 29, Will forever be known for saying in his introductions “See you in three months bitches!”
Janelle – 25, VIP Waitress, and ego so big that it shocked me her head got through the double doors into the hosue.
Kaysar – 24, First Muslim hamster, extremely quiet.
Maggie – 26, Emergancy room nurse.
Michael – 28, Artist, not sure what to think of him yet, possibly over-confident.
Rachel – 33, Horse breeder, and a chin that could be used as a deadly weapon.
Sarah – 22, Retail manager, and more than likely was the perkiest girl in high school.
After they got their beds, introduced themselves, the Chen-bot Mark VI came on the plasma screen and told them to break into two teams, put on their swimsuits and go to the backyard for a combined food/HOH challange. The hamsters were greeted by two giant surboards, palm trees with plastic coconuts hanging in them and two big freaky Hawiian masks with open mouthes.
The object of the game was for each team to stand on the surfboards and toss the coconuts into the open mouthes. They had 10 minutes, and all 7 people had to be on the surfboard while coconuts were being thrown. If someone got off, or fell off, you had to stop throwing. The losing team would be on a peanut butter & jelly diet (a BB fave) for a week, while the winning team would win food and would go on to compete for HOH. The teams (and results):
Orange Team (Winners with 23 coconuts?Regular Food): April, Howie, James, Jenelle, Maggie, and Rachel.
Blue Team (Losers with 7 coconuts?PBJ for a week): Ashlea, Beau, Eric, Ivette, Jennifer, Kaysar, and Michael.
Orange team went on to an endurance challange of who could stand on the surfboard the longest to win HOH. Rachel ended up winning at the 2 hour, 35 minute mark against Howie. After everyone was settled, we were shown the usual “Let’s go look at the HoH room!” Sure, it’s a nice room, but big whoop. The only really nice thing this year is the private bathroom.
It was then time for eviction nominations, which surprised the heck out of me. This episode was packed with things going on, and quite frankly, it was too much. Oh well, anyway, Rachel nominated Ashlea and Kaysar for eviction, saying she jsut had not had a chance to get to know them yet, and that it was nothing personal.
The Chen-bot comes back on to tell us how this will be a Summer of Secrets…SoS…stupid abbreviations. Anyway, the big secret to begin with, there are 14 hamsters, each one has a pre-existing relationship with someone else in the house, a secret partner. So in essence, the game is being played by 7 teams. If the winner of the whole season hides their secret for the enitre time, the usual $500,000 prize will be doubled to $1,000,000. I do not see this happening, but oh well.
That pretty much sums up this episode. Next episode is next Thursday. If you want to see what is going on between now and then, be sure to subscribe to the live feeds or check a great site called Joker’s Updates, where they have already figured out all 7 pairs!