August 13 2005

New Survivor’s Announced

Time for another round of Survivor folks. This time it’s “Survivor: Guatemala – The Mayan Empire“…yes…that is the official, longer than my arm, title. Anyway, time to start picking on them before we even see them.

Amy – 39 year old police sergeant in Revere, Mass…*sniff sniff* smells like our resident bossy person that will soon be voted out.

Blake – 24 year old real estate agent from Dallas. Makes me flash back to Brian from Survivor:Thailand for some reason. Minus the career in soft-core porn movies of course.

Brandon – 22 year old farmer from Manhattan, KS. I suspect this will be the token “These people have no work ethics!” person.

Brian – 22 year old ivy league student from New York City. I’m sure he’s ready for roughing it.

Brianna – 21 year old make-up artist from Edmonds, WA. I expect war-paint suggestions from her early on.

Brooke – 26 year old law student from Hood River, OR. Yeah, because lawyers and law students have such a wonderful track record on this show. Expect her to go early.

Cindy – 31 year old zookepper from Naples, FL. She could prove interesting in her knowledge of animals.

Danni – 30 year old sports radio personality from Tonganoxie, KS…I think we’ll break it to her later that’s not one of the major radio markets.

Gary – 46 year old, former Dallas Cowboys Quarterback…oh yeah…no one’s going to mark him for being voted off.

Jamie – 24 year old water-ski instructor from North Hollywood, CA…there are so many things that can be said about this.

Jim – 63 year old retired fire captain from Northglenn, CO. This could go several ways, but I am guessing this will end up being a muxture of the “bossy guy” and “work ethic” Survivor.

Judd – 34 year old fromRidgefield, N.J., who works as a doorman at a New York City hotel. I expect him to be highly ammusing in his commentaries.

Lydia – 42 year old fishmonger from Lakewood, WA. I wasn’t aware the world still had “fishmongers”.

Margaret – 43 year old family nurse practitioner from Chardon, OH. She could come in very handy.

Morgan – 21 year old magician’s assistant from Decatur,IL. Yeah…unless she brought the magic hat with the rabbits in it, I don’t see her lasting.

Rafe – 22 year old Ivy League student from Providence, RI. What is with two ivy league students this time?

Some people may think it is unfair I am judging these folks based solely on their bios and pictures, but after 10 seasons of Survivor, I know that Mark Burnett goes after sterotypes. Looks like a fun bunch for picking on though! The mocking begins on September 15th.

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