March 17 2006

Conclusions Can Come At The Oddest Times

You would think I would be all giddy today at the prospect of going back to Japan again, but instead I’m cranky. All that keeps running through my head is grumbling about all the things I have to do before I go (my stupid passport comes due IN August…oops) and it is making me realize just what a grumpy person I really am.

I’m not sure how I got this way. I have been told I was a happy child, but as soon as I hit my teen years I got very dark and grumpy, and I have never really seemed to come out of that for some reason. I guess it is just my general view of the human race as a whole and the world. I find stupidity in most things and stupidity annoys me. I think that is where my grumpiness today is coming from, I know I have to deal with “annoying” things before I can leave.

The other part of it, I speculate, comes from wondering why I’m not more excited. I fear I am starting to view these trips as routine, and that’s something I should not do. Most people never get the chance to go to the place they dream of visiting, and this will be my fourth time. Sadly I just feel…”eh”…about it today. Again, I think it is partially due to the hassles I see to getting ready.

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