July 29 2006

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Luis over at BlogD was being all smart-assy today mentioning the blogs he reads that he hasn’t linked yet. Since he mentioned mine, I felt obligated to do something thought provoking…

Instead I ripped off a joke entry by CosmicBudhha, another blog Luis linked to. TAKE THAT LUIS!

24 is one of those shows you almost feel guilty watching. It is so improbable, so insanely over the top, you aren’t sure you’re enjoying it for story or sheer amazement at the next idea the writers pulled out of their ass. Keifer Sutherland plays Jack Bauer, a tough, take-no-prisoners agent of C.T.U. (Counter Terrorist Unit). The show is done in “real time”, with each season being only 1 day in the life of Jack.

In 5 seasons we have never seen Jack:
– Eat
– Sleep (well kinda, he took a power nap in the first season for like 30 seconds)
– Go to the bathroom

I think he’s had a drink of water here or there, but I can’t remember for sure. Combine this with his “unique” interrogation skills and his “I’d shoot you as soon as put up with you” attitude, has led to a massive cult following. Said cult have come up with a massive list of things Jack is capable of, including such gems as:

– The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

– Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, “I have them right where I want them.”

– Jack Bauer doesn’t need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.

– Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

And so on. You can check out the full list here. If you are fan of the show, you will laugh yourself silly. If you don’t watch the show, you will think everyone who does is clearly insane.

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