@BrandonMiniman I don't even have kids and I'm looking forward to going back to bed.
If, like me, you have had an impossible time getting to the site during the day, things should be better now as I’ve had my host, DreamHost, move me to a different server. This is one of the drawbacks to using a shared host. Sure, they may be cheap, but if one of your “neighbors” on the server is a resource hog, then it slows down your site also. So if someone is running a faulty script? It causes the server to bog down.
I have no clue who else was on our old server, but during the daytime, this site would move like a snail, while my company web sites were running smooth as can be. So after a lot of debate, I had DreamHost move this site to be on the server as my company websites. Everything appears to be running smoothly, but do drop me a line if you find anything broken.