While playing Call of Duty 4 last night, I had a conversation that made me actually question humanity.
Sitting in the lobby, waiting for the next round to start, we got notified the next map we’d be playing on would be “Bloc” – a set of decaying apartment buildings in post-nuclear accident Chernobyl. This isn’t a huge fan-favorite map, but it did generate the following conversation.
Male player: Ugh, I hate this map! Everyone vote to veto it.
Me: I agree… although I was surprised the other night when I found the pool building! I never even knew it existed!
Male player: The what?
Me: It’s in the back corner, there’s a whole other building with a pool. I never knew it was there.
Female player: pfft It’s not a pool.
Me: Uh, yes it is.
Female player: There’s no water in it, so it’s not a pool.
Male player: If it doesn’t have water in it, it’s not a pool?
Female player: Right.
At this point the game started, on a different map as we had vetoed “Bloc”. The girl was on the other team, but the other guy was on my team so we could talk to one another.
Me: Was she serious?
Male player: She sure sounded like it.
Me: What do you do when you call someone and want them to build you a pool, but it’s not a pool until it has water in it?
Male player: Hi! I’d like you to build me a large cement hole in the ground, shaped like a tub, and water proofed in case I want to put water in it someday.
Me: -gets shot by an opponent as I am choking from laughing so hard-
I played a couple of rounds with the girl, and considering her general attitude, yeah, she wasn’t joking, and she had many opinions on a great many subjects… all of them of equal intelligence.
Do you ever wish you could slap a sticker on some people’s foreheads that say “Do Not Breed”?