Pacific Rim could face off against Godzilla someday buff.ly/2gxUU07 https://t.co/0qJ4BCgmit
Huh… well… this issues was… “different”.
And fairly pointless. I’ll save the rant for the end, though.
We open on Buffy fighting multiple monsters, all on different nights judging by the settings being different in each fight, but they all share here saying, “Can’t say I didn’t warn you.” as she kills the monster. Except as she dusts one last vampire and says, “Can’t say I — –oh, grrr, I guess I can.”
We cut to Buffy laying in a bed, yelling at Xander
Buffy: XANDER! What about ‘Don’t wake me even if there’s ANOTHER apocalypse!’ don’t you get?
Xander: No, got that. It’s just —
Buffy: What?… Is it about Dawn? Has she turned into something else? Is she a giant monkey? Or a giant robot? Or a giant robot monkey? Although… Dawn changed into a giant robot monkey I’d like to see…
Xander: No, she’s not a giant robot monkey. But, I’d like to see that too…
Buffy: Xander, puh-lease. I’m all stinky. I’m still in my stinky clothes. In my stinky bed. So go away from my stinky bed and I can get some stinky sleep.
Xander: But… that’s just if, Buf. This isn’t your bed you’re making all stinky.. it’s mine!
Joyce isyelling that Buffy will be late for school. Our favorite Slayer is back in her old bedroom from the high school days, and she is quickly realizing this is a dream, and she wants it to go away. Joyce throws open the door to yell at her some some more, a much younger Dawn right behind her.
Buffy is thrilled to see her mother, even if it is a dream, and also thrilled to see Dawn being normal, although much smaller then she remembers her. She also wonders why she is wearing a shirt that says “Relax”… Dawn offers to take it if she doesn’t like it. Buffy slips up referring to herself as a “Slayer”, not realizing she is in the time before Joyce knew about it. She covers it by saying she meant “Player” and she is going out for a sports team. Joyce blows it off and tells her not to be late for school if she wants to go to the party that night. Buffy is shocked at the concept of a party.
We’re back at Sunnydale High for the first time in eons, and we immediately see Cordelia picking on Willow, giving us a good idea of when this takes place. She says Willow should cut her bangs, revealing more of her face… so she can see how hopeless she truly is. Buffy tells her it’ll be okay because some day Cordelia will be dead and Willow will be a sorceress supreme!… Willow wants to know if she’ll get to wear a pointy hat.
Xander comes through on a skateboard, crashing in to a wall. Principal Snyder comes to yell at him. (If Snyder is principal, Cordellia should be over picking on Willow… and they also tell us this is freshman year, so small mix up in continuity there. Shouldn’t it have been principal Flutie?) Snyder says Xander can have the skateboard back at the end of the school year, but Xander protests saying it is brand new. Snyder tells him one or the other is going to be locked up in his office… it ends up being the skateboard. Buffy says, “Look at it this way, Xander. Maybe someday Snyder will get eaten by a huge,ginormous snake — — and you’ll wear an eye patch and be in charge of lots of womens.” Xander hopes it will be a space pirate. After more awarkedness, Buffy suggests they go see Giles.
We cut to the Sunnydale graveyard, with Buffy, Willow and Xander walking through it, chatting about the party… until they run in to Giles. He informs her the fate of the world is at stake that very night. Buffy is not thrilled to be reliving this part of her life.
Giles tells her about a group of vampires known as The Disciples of Morgala. Not much is known about what Morgala is, but he knows they are up to something. As usual, the Scoobies aren’t listening, and are instead discussing who will pick up whom for the party… it’s obvious this is “Crush-on-Xander” Willow, “Crush-on-Buffy” Xander and “Oblivious” Buffy. Giles squeals and wondering what Harmony will wear!
The Scoobies get it.
Giles says whatever will happen that night will shift the balance of good and evil beyond reckoning, but Buffy assures him that she will find the Disciples of Morgan Freeman… Giles shouts “MORGALA”… Buffy says “them too.” She is thrilled to have her freshman bod and her super Slayer brain… and bonks herself in the head with Mr. Pointy.
Buffy is tearing through three vampires, all marked with the symbol of Morgala, while Xander does play-by-play commentary. Buffy makes short work of the three. As they leave, Buffy says they need to “S, S and S” before the party. Xander informs Giles that means “Soap. Shower and Style”. Giles is still concerned about the Morgala cult, and why they were worshiping an image of a dragon on the wall. Buffy doesn’t care, she just wants to have fun, and informs Giles that someday there will be eighteen hundred slayers working in ten seperate squads, and everybody calls her “Ma’am”! She is going to the party!
They leave Giles going “‘Ma’am’…?”
Buffy is getting ready for the party, and she stops to stare down at her silver cross, and sigh about Angel. Joyce wonders where the rest of Buffy’s skirt is, she informs her she’s worn worse. Joyce is worried about the party, and since they haven’t been in Sunnydale very long, she thinks it may be dangerous as she doesn’t know the people at the party. Buffy is touched and says she wishes she could stay here forever. Joyce tells her eventually she will graduate high school, go to college, meet a nice boy and have a life, but she can always come home again.
Buffy just replies with “Right.”
She’s on her way to the party when she senses something, leaping up to the roofs she finds Angel. They go through their old, awkward banter that they shared before they dated. Angel congratulates her on taking out the five Disciples of Morgala, she says it was no big thing. As she turns to leave, Angel comments on her wearing the cross he gave her, she plays it off as it went with the outfit. They argue some more, and Buffy asks him if someone knows the future, if they should tell the other person. Angel tells her it wouldn’t be a good idea. She agrees and heads off for the party again.
As she gets there, she is ranting to herself about everything Angel said, but then realizes something didn’t sit right with her. As she tries to remember everything he said, she finally gets it… he said there were five Disciples of Morgala, but she only dusted three. She hears a song she loves, and she starts to dance, she wonders if maybe Angel just can’t count… she finaly runs for the graveyard, hoping she can kill the other two and get back before the party ends.
She busts in to find the other two telling her she is too late, and as she dusts one, the other slams a huge gem in to the wall, the building shakes, and a dragon bursts out of the wall. Buffy is upset they don’t just worship the image of a dragon…
The dragon starts chasing Buffy, and ends up scooping her up as it takes flight. Buffy comments she can see her house… and the house of the party she is missing. As they fly over the party, she loses one of her boots, which, of course, hits Cordelia in the head as Cordy is saying what a loser Buffy is for not showing up.
Buffy figures out the gem is the power source and dislodges it. The dragon goes “poof”, and Buffy crashes to the ground through a tree.
She’s awake now, and Xander, Willow and Dawn are there. They tell her she was only asleep for 4 seconds, she is thrileld to see Xander with an eye patch… Dawn is a centaur… Willow is all magicky and gay! Willow wants to know if Toto was in the dream also.
They inform her that Andrew has found a huge vampire nest in Madrid and needs help. Buffy says fine, and her dream doesn’t matter because they have a world to save. To herself, she thinks about how Angel said you can’t change a person’s future, but she sure was happy to go home again.
Next issue… Harmony is back.
As for this issue… what a waste of an issue. These types of episodes were nice when they did them on the show, but in a comic format, I feel like I just blew $3 and a month! This “season” is already dragging on for way longer than I would like, and to kill a month with a taste of what a failed project would have been like just seemed pointless. I will still be here for future issues, of course, but boy did this one feel like padding to fill the fourth trade paperback!
No more stand alone issues, Joss! We want the meat!
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