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December 24 2008

Westboro Baptist Church Amazes Me

wbc signWhat in the world is wrong with Fred Phelps?

For those unfamiliar with Phelps, he is the head of the Westboro Baptist Church from Topeka, KS.  They are best known for their protests at the funerals of soldiers saying that all their deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq are the fault of the United States acceptance of homosexuality.  He has also been known to blame natural disasters on the same “problem”.

Well, it seems Mr. Phelps has now moved on to blaming things on Santa.  The economy?  Santa’s fault.  Dead soldiers?  Yep, Santa. To get this point across to the masses, the church wanted to post a sign detailing all of this in the Washington state capitol. (The SpokesmanReview has the story, but requires paid registration) Steve Valandra, a spokesman for Washington’s Department of General Administration, when e-mailed the text said, “Holy cow. I guess we’ll consider it like all the other requests.”

You can see the whole poster here, but I’ve reprinted the text below.  You can also sing it to the tune of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” as demonstrated by a video the church made, which I refuse to link to, but you can find it if you insist.

Santa Claus Will Take You To Hell!

You’d Better Watch Out Get Ready To Cry
You’d Better Go Hide I’m Telling You Why
Cuz Santa Claus Will Take You To Hell

He Is Your Favorite Idol You Worship At His Feet
But When You Stand Before Your God
He Won’t Help You Take The Heat

So Get This Fact Straight You’re Feelin’ God’s Hate
Santa’s To Blame For The Economy’s Fate
Santa Claus Will Take You To Hell

Don’t Leave Your Kids With This Red Fright
Just Like The Priests He’ll Rape ‘Em At Night
Oh Santa Claus Will Take You To Hell

You Tell The Children He Is Real
You Know That’s Just A Lie
To Justify Your Own Vile Sins
That’s The Only Reason Why

So Get This Fact Straight That You’re Feelin’ God’s Hate
Santa’s To Blame For The Dead Soldier’s Fate
Santa Claus Will Take You To Hell!

While I am all for religious freedom, and these people have every right to say whatever they like, you have to seriously wonder what is wrong with them?  Sure the world is messed up, but blaming Santa for the world’s woes?  I guess maybe the homosexuals have been cleared now?  They are somehow now blameless for the deaths of the soldiers, it’s all Santa’s fault!  Good to know.

Comparing him to child molesters?  Saying he will take you to Hell?  What in the world did Santa ever do to these people?

Some of the stories I find online just make my brain hurt.



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  • Paige Filler

    There is a whole documentary about them, this a clip

    (you will not be rolled)

  • Bob

    I've been following phelps for over a decade. He was once in my hometown protesting a logger's convention (you know, guys who cut down trees). He's quite funn.

  • Alberto

    Life just wouldn't be very interesting without random nutcases coming up with nonsense…

  • What in the world is there to protest at a logger's convention?!?

    • Annalisa

      Maybe cutting down logs is a bit to gay for Phelps. Guys handling wood could be easily misconstrued… if you're a teenage boy…

      But really? Santa? WTF?!