There is going to be a movie based around the board games of Monopoly and Risk … why?

The rumors of the Monopoly movie have been circulating for some time now, and then came the news that Sir Ridley Scott, director of such films as Alien, Blade Runner and Gladiator, was attached to direct.  Well, thanks to an article in this week’s Los Angeles Times, things have progressed even further, and we now know the basic plot of the film.

In an interview with Frank Beddor, producer on such films as Something About Mary, he revealed the plot that actually lured the famous director to the project:

“I created a comedic, lovable loser who lives in Manhattan and works at a real estate company and he’s not very good at his job but he’s great at playing Monopoly. And the world record for playing is 70 straight days – over 1,600 hours – and he wanted to try to convince his friends to help him break that world record. They think he is crazy. They kid him about this girl and they’re playing the game and there’s this big fight. And he’s holding a Chance card and after they’ve left he says, ‘Damn, I wanted to use that Chance card,’ and he throws it down. He falls asleep and then he wakes up in the morning and he’s holding the Chance card, and he thinks, ‘That’s odd.’”

[...]

“He’s all groggy and he goes down to buy some coffee and he reaches into his pocket and all he has is Monopoly money. All this Monopoly money pours out. He’s confused and embarrassed and the girl reaches across the counter and says, ‘That’s OK.’ And she gives him change in Monopoly money. He walks outside and he’s in this very vibrant place, Monopoly City, and he’s just come out of a Chance Shop. As it goes on, he takes on the evil Parker Brothers in the game of Monolopy. He has to defeat them. It tries to incorporate all the iconic imageries — a sports car pulls up, there’s someone on a  horse, someone pushing a wheelbarrow — and rich Uncle Pennybags, you’re going to see him as the maître d’ at the restaurant and he’s the buggy driver and the local eccentric and the doorman at the opera. There’s all these sight gags.”

This sounds absolutely dreadful.  Never mind the plot has been used too many times to count – Super Mario Brothers, Jumanji and Zathura: A Space Adventure immediately spring to mind to name just a few — and so this sounds like it brings absolutely nothing original along with it.

To top all of this off, there is also talk now of Risk being turned into a movie. I’ll just let the press release about the project explain it:

Sony Pictures Entertainment has acquired from Hasbro, Inc. the motion picture rights to produce RISK, the classic board game brand of world conquest, it was announced today by Doug Belgrad and Matt Tolmach, presidents of Columbia Pictures. The film will be produced and developed by Hasbro’s Brian Goldner and Bennett Schneir and Overbrook Entertainment’s James Lassiter.

Commenting on the announcement Belgrad said, “Hasbro has already seen tremendous success with Transformers and G.I. Joe and audiences have shown a great desire for films that bring to life everything that has made these franchise properties stand the test of time. The strategic thinking and the tactical gambles that players must take in the game are what make RISK a classic, thoroughly engaging game. Those elements translated into an action-packed, thrilling story are what will make this a uniquely exciting movie.”

Lassiter added “We are excited to be working with Hasbro and Columbia Pictures on bringing such a beloved and well-known game to life on the big screen. We have two television projects currently in development with Hasbro Studios and look forward to this collaboration.”

“We are thrilled to be working with tremendous partners like Sony Pictures and Overbrook Entertainment on RISK,” said Brian Goldner, President and CEO of Hasbro, Inc. “Like so many of Hasbro’s brands, RISK resonates with consumers of multiple generations around the world. We can’t wait to re-imagine this brand into a motion picture.”

The game was invented in 1957 by French filmmaker Albert Lamorisse as La Conquete du Monde (The Conquest of the World). Two years later, Parker Brothers published the game in the U.S. as RISK. According to Hasbro, RISK was a groundbreaking game, the first board game to offer nonlinear movement. In the game, players compete on a map of the world, amassing armies and attempting world domination, or, as its rules put it, to “occupy every territory on the board and in so doing, eliminate all other players.” The game has sold millions of copies and spawned several variations, with settings ranging from movie properties to various periods from world history to the moon.

How in the world are they going to turn this into anything more than a war movie? If they add any aspects of the game (colored uniforms to represent the various colors in the game? ew) it will just come off as looking goofy.  And if they don’t add aspects of the game then why did they even bother licensing the name of the game?

There is also talk of games based on Ouija and Battleship and I am more convinced than ever that Hollywood has completely run out of anything close to resembling an original idea.

Now, all this being said, I am actually a fan of the film version of Clue.  It was turned into a comedy in 1985, and it had a stellar comedic cast including the likes of Madeline Kahn, Tim Curry and Michael McKean.  If you’ve never seen it, I highly recommend it for just a fun little watch with absolutely no depth to it.

So who knows, I could be wrong, but Clue was primed for comedy with all of the ludicrous character names in the game.  The other ones I’ve listed?  Not so much.

What say you?  Will you go and see any of this slew of board game movies?