July 1 2010

Yeah, I Still Don’t Get This Whole Twilight Thing

Yeah, you heard me … I don’t get this whole Twilight thing.

Lets be clear: I have not read any of the books, and I have not seen any of the movies, nor do I have any desire to do so.  The second I heard the vampires “sparkle”, I was out.  “Wait, not only can they walk around during the day, but they … sparkle … I’m out.”

I have no problem with vampire stories, in fact, I love them.  I dig True Blood, and I was, and am, a huge fan of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but sparkly vampires?  Not so much.

It also can be said I have nothing against successful book series as I have read all seven Harry Potter books, and I’ve seen the six movies that have been made so far.  Course, that’s where my fandom with that series ends, I know some people take it to much bigger extremes.

But this insanity that surrounds these books and movies just blows my minds.  Eclipse, the third book & film in the series, just had the biggest midnight showing ever with a take of $30 million.  The final haul for its opening day was $65 million … on a Wednesday.  This gave it the biggest opening Wednesday in history, although it didn’t break the record of New Moon, the second film, opening to $72 million, but, again … this was a Wednesday!  Do none of these people have jobs?

Oh wait … most of them don’t.  Why?  Because they’re teenagers.

If you ever needed an example of how powerful a demographic teenage girls is, just look at these films.  Ever get tired of everything being geared towards them in marketing and so on?  Yeah, just look at these movies.  They are raking in money hand over fist for a bunch of vampires … that sparkle.

Oh, by the way, Eclipse broke another record.  It opened on 4,468 movie screens in the United States, the most screens ever for a film.  In other words, you can’t throw a rock in this country right now without hitting a movie screen showing this thing.

Seriously, could someone explain the allure of all this ti me?  The vampires sparkle, the lead actress (Kristen Stewart) looks like she belongs in a zombie movie with those dead eyes of hers and the werewolfy guy (Taylor Lautner) looks like he belongs in Quest For Fire … I just don’t get it.

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