January 29 2011

Food Network: Crack For Women

Can the Food Network be classified as an addictive drug yet?

While I’ll admit to having spent some time watching the Food Network, most specifically when they were first running the Japanese version of Iron Chef, I can’t say I’m a huge devotee of the channel.  With that being said, I seem to watch/hear more of this channel than any one human should ever have to.

You see, as loyal readers know, I live with my parents.  I believe my mother only knows the location of two channels on DirecTV, and those are the Food Network and HGTV.  I figured this was only an issue in my house, but when recently speaking with a married friend of mine, the subject of Iron Chef came up, and that led to us discussing the Food Network in general.  I mentioned my situation with my mom, and he said that ever since he got married he felt those were the only two channels ever on in his house.

I thought about it some more, and I realized that another female friend of mine, also married, also seems to watch the Food Network exclusively.

Is there something about this channel that men are incapable of comprehending?  I’m not some sports fanatic, so it isn’t like I’m opposed to exploring other channels or I have to be watching ESPN 24/7, so it’s not the concept of the channel somehow offends my sensibilities, but how can anyone stand to watch that many hours of people having cake decorating competitions?  If I have to hear one more story from Ina Garten on the Barefoot Contessa about how she has to have a meal prepared before her guests arrive, I may scream.

The only concession I get is that the channel does get turned off any time Rachael Ray comes on as my hatred of that woman is well-known, and there is a fear of me hurling something at the screen.  However, during those slivers of time where I receive a reprieve from endlessly steaming pots of boiling water, I get treated to House Hunters on HGTV.  We own a house … why are we watching a show about people hunting for a house?  Is there something I’m missing about a show where people wander through homes nitpicking every little thing, obviously hamming it up for the cameras?

I digress.  I do realize it isn’t just women who watch the Food Network as my father has an unhealthy obsession with one of their competition shows, Chopped.  So, yes, men can and do watch the channel, but I have yet to find one who watches it for hours on end like the women I have mentioned in this post.

I don’t get the attraction, and I’m not sure I want to either.

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