@KrisColvin A monkey. Always a monkey.
With every new piece of info released for Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, the more convinced I become that we’re looking at a box office bomb hurdling towards us.
Don’t get me wrong, I have no desire to see movies fail, as the more movies that succeed, the more we get. That being said, there is absolutely nothing appealing about what I have seen for Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. Everything about it feels forced and like a wanna-be Tim Burton film. Has Hollywood learned nothing from the likes of Van Helsing and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?
The scary thing is, I think the studio knows they are in trouble. The film is slated for a January 25 release and we’ve seen one trailer and just a few stills thus far. The below dozen representing the biggest still release yet. There isn’t a whole lot of marketing money flowing in to this project, and that’s never a good sign.
We’ll see where this goes, but I’m predicting a decent opening weekend with a steep drop off in week two.
Catching up with Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) 15 years after the traumatic incident involving a gingerbread house, the siblings have evolved into vengeful bounty hunters dedicated to exterminating witches. Over the years, the siblings became expert hunters, famous for their proficiency at tracking and taking down their prey. Although still recovering from their ordeal, their work is relatively easy as for an unknown reason harmful spells and curses do not work well against them.
The Mayor of Augsburg recruits them to rid the town and nearby forests of an evil sorceress (Janssen) who is planning to sacrifice many local children at the witches’ gathering during the upcoming ‘Blood Moon’ night in two days time. To make things worse, the duo also has to deal with the brutal Sheriff Berringer (Stormare) who has taken power in Augsburg and conducts a very indiscriminate witch-hunt of his own.
Correction: Earlier version of this post had the wrong release date.