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March 25 2017

The Movies of 2017 – 2nd Quarter

Welcome to the second of four parts of an analysis of every major film release of 2017.

Following up on last year’s project, I’m back with a look at the films of 2017. And as usual, I will be breaking it down by quarters and then an overall review. The change this year, however, is they will not be all coming out in one week. I realized I was doing a disservice to the films later in the year, so this year will work as follows:

There are some clear, “What in the world were they thinking?” projects coming out this year, and there are some that I think will surprise all of us.

Hopefully you enjoy this as it is a huge undertaking each year, but one I enjoy doing.

Please note that titles and release dates can change at any time, none of these are written in stone.

April

The Case for Christ

Release Date: April 7, 2017

Based on the true story of an award-winning investigative journalist — and avowed atheist — who applies his well-honed journalistic and legal skills to disprove the newfound Christian faith of his wife… with unexpected, life-altering results.

Analysis: Religious films have been money churners as of late. No question this one will the trend.

Going in Style

Three desperate men rob a bank they blame for their troubles.

Analysis: Looks cute, good cast, won’t do much at the box office, though.

Release Date: April 7, 2017

Smurfs: The Lost Village

A whole new world awaits

Analysis: A Smurfs mystery… eh. Are they even still a thing?

Release Date: April 7, 2017

The Fate of the Furious

Now that Dom and Letty are on their honeymoon and Brian and Mia have retired from the game—and the rest of the crew has been exonerated—the globetrotting team has found a semblance of a normal life. But when a mysterious woman (Oscar® winner Charlize Theron) seduces Dom into the world of crime he can’t seem to escape and a betrayal of those closest to him, they will face trials that will test them as never before.

From the shores of Cuba and the streets of New York City to the icy plains off the arctic Barents Sea, our elite force will crisscross the globe to stop an anarchist from unleashing chaos on the world’s stage…and to bring home the man who made them a family.

Analysis: It will make huge money, but will it still cross $1 billion is the big question. It probably will.

Release Date: April 14, 2017

Spark

SPARK (Jace Norman) is a wisecracking teen living on an abandoned planet with his friends Chunk and Vix. Thirteen years ago the power-hungry General Zhong seized control of their planet Beta, wiping out Spark’s family and sending him into hiding. But now they’ve learned of Zhong’s plan to wipe out the entire universe using the deadly space Kraken, and no one but Spark can stop him. An action-packed space odyssey filled with humor and heart, SPARK is an epic adventure about becoming the hero you were born to become.

Analysis: Looks very generic. Don’t expect it to do well.

Release Date: April 14, 2017

Born in China

Venturing into the wilds of China, “Born in China” captures intimate moments with a panda bear and her growing cub, a young golden monkey who feels displaced by his baby sister, and a mother snow leopard struggling to raise her two cubs.

Analysis: Disney wildlife documentaries do fairly well, this one should bring in some dollars as well.

Release Date: April 21, 2017

Free Fire

It’s all guns, no control in the electrifying first trailer for Ben Wheatley’s FREE FIRE, starring Sharlto Copley, Armie Hammer, Brie Larson, Cillian Murphy and Jack Reynor.

Analysis: Good cast, looks entertaining, won’t do much at the box office, though.

Release Date: April 21, 2017

Leap!

The film tells the story of Félicie, a young orphan girl with a passion for dancing. With the help of her best friend Victor, she manages to escape from an orphanage and travel all the way to Paris, where many challenges and intriguing encounters await her. Ballerina is a funny and touching story about friendship, self-confidence and family.

Analysis: Not really sure how this one will do. Feels a lot like a Disney Princess movie without the Disney name attached.

Release Date: April 21, 2017

Phoenix Forgotten

The film tells the story of the disappearance of three teenagers who set out to find the source of the widely reported 1997 UFO phenomenon known as the Phoenix Lights.

Analysis: Found footage alien/horror film. Sure to have been made for next to nothing. It will make a profit, but I’m so over the found footage trick.

Release Date: April 21, 2017

The Promise

Set during the last days of the Ottoman Empire, The Promise follows a love triangle between Michael, a brilliant medical student, the beautiful and sophisticated Ana, and Chris – a renowned American journalist based in Paris.

Analysis: Christian Bale and Oscar Issac will both draw attention, but won’t be a big box office hit.

Release Date: April 21, 2017

Unforgettable

Heigl stars as Tessa Connover, who is barely coping with the end of her marriage when her ex-husband, David (Stults), becomes happily engaged to Julia Banks (Dawson)—not only bringing Julia into the home they once shared but also into the life of their daughter, Lilly (Isabella Rice). Trying to settle into her new role as a wife and a stepmother, Julia believes she has finally met the man of her dreams, the man who can help her put her own troubled past behind her. But Tessa’s jealousy soon takes a pathological turn until she will stop at nothing to turn Julia’s dream into her ultimate nightmare.

Analysis: Another scorned woman story… eh. Add in Heigl who is box office poison and this is going nowhere.

Release Date: April 21, 2017

The Circle

When Mae (Emma Watson) is hired to work for the world’s largest and most powerful tech & social media company, she sees it as an opportunity of a lifetime. As she rises through the ranks, she is encouraged by the company’s founder, Eamon Bailey (Tom Hanks), to engage in a groundbreaking experiment that pushes the boundaries of privacy, ethics and ultimately her personal freedom. Her participation in the experiment, and every decision she makes begin to affect the lives and future of her friends, family and that of humanity.

Analysis: Stellar cast, very current story, but doubt it will take in a ton of money at the box office.

Release Date: April 28, 2017

How to be a Latin Lover

Having made a career of seducing rich older women, Maximo (Eugenio Derbez) marries a wealthy woman more than twice his age. 25 years later, spoiled and bored from waking up next to his now 80-year-old wife—he gets the surprise of his life when she ends up dumping him for a younger car salesman. Forced out of his mansion and desperate for a place to stay, he must move in with his estranged sister, Sara, (Salma Hayek) and her nerdy but adorable son, Hugo (Raphael Alejandro) in their small apartment. Anxious to return to the lap of luxury, Maximo uses his nephew’s crush on a classmate to get to his new target—her grandmother, Celeste (Raquel Welch), a widowed billionaire.

As Maximo tries to rekindle his powers as a Latin lover, he finds himself bonding with his nephew Hugo, and he begins to learn that being a Latin lover means that loving money isn’t as important as the love of your family.

Analysis: The plot is threadbare, but it looks harmless enough. And I have to admit I got an actual laugh from the pool/shoe polish gag.

Release Date: April 28, 2017

Sleight

A young street magician (Jacob Latimore) is left to care for his little sister after their parents passing and turns to illegal activities to keep a roof over their heads. When he gets in too deep, his sister is kidnapped and he is forced to use his magic and brilliant mind to save her.

Analysis: Magic used as a weapon. Been there, done that.

Release Date: April 28, 2017

Untitled Blumhouse Horror Project II

Unknown at this time

Analysis: The last untitled Blumhouse turned out to be Get Out which did very well. Hard to question this company any more.

Release Date: April 28, 2017

May

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Set to the backdrop of ‘Awesome Mixtape #2,’ Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 continues the team’s adventures as they traverse the outer reaches of the cosmos. The Guardians must fight to keep their newfound family together as they unravel the mysteries of Peter Quill’s true parentage. Old foes become new allies and fan-favorite characters from the classic comics will come to our heroes’ aid as the Marvel cinematic universe continues to expand.

Analysis: This movie is going to print money.

Release Date: May 5, 2017

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

When young Arthur’s father is murdered, Vortigern (Jude Law), Arthur’s uncle, seizes the crown. Robbed of his birthright and with no idea who he truly is, Arthur (Charlie Hunnam) comes up the hard way in the back alleys of the city. But once he pulls the sword from the stone, his life is turned upside down, and he is forced to acknowledge his true legacy whether he likes it or not.

Analysis: I really have no clue how this movie is going to do. Guy Ritchie’s track record is mixed. It looks interesting, but really not a clue how it will perform.

Release Date: May 12, 2017

Lowriders

A contemporary tale about a teen whose loyalties are tested when an annual lowrider event forces him to choose between his father and his criminal uncle.

Analysis: Won’t be a blockbuster, but may do okay.

Release Date: May 12, 2017

Snatched

After her boyfriend dumps her on the eve of their exotic vacation, impetuous dreamer Emily Middleton (Amy Schumer) persuades her cautious mom, Linda (Goldie Hawn),to travel with her to paradise. Polar opposites, Emily and Linda soon realize that working through their differences as mother and daughter is the only way to escape the wildly outrageous jungle adventure that they have fallen into.

Analysis: Considering the time of year, it may do okay as ‘counter programming.’

Release Date: May 12, 2017

Alien: Covenant

Bound for a remote planet on the far side of the galaxy, members (Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup) of the colony ship Covenant discover what they think to be an uncharted paradise. While there, they meet David (Michael Fassbender), the synthetic survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition. The mysterious world soon turns dark and dangerous when a hostile alien life-form forces the crew into a deadly fight for survival.

Analysis: This film has an uphill battle following Prometheus, but with the name change it may escape some of the hate.

Release Date: May 19, 2017

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

In DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: THE LONG HAUL, based on the record-breaking book series, a family road trip to attend Meemaw’s 90th birthday party goes hilariously off course–thanks to Greg’s newest scheme to (finally!) become famous.

Analysis: Previous films in this series have not done well, and I’m not sure how this one even got greenlit.

Release Date: May 19, 2017

Everything, Everything

Maddy (Amandla Stenberg) is a smart, curious and imaginative 18-year-old who is unable to leave the protection of the hermetically-sealed environment within her house because of an illness. Olly (Nick Robinson) is the boy next door who won’t let that stop them from being together. Gazing through windows and talking only through texts, Maddy and Olly form a deep bond that leads them to risk everything to be together, even if it means losing everything.

Analysis: Will do mild business, can’t see it being huge.

Release Date: May 19, 2017

Baywatch

Lifeguard Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) and a brash new recruit (Zac Efron) uncover a criminal plot that threatens the future of the bay.

Analysis: I never watched the original show, but I have to admit Dwayne Johnson is such a charm factory I’ll probably watch it someday… but not in the theater.

Release Date: May 26, 2017

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Thrust into an all-new adventure, a down-on-his-luck Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) feels the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost sailors led by his old nemesis, the evil Capt. Salazar (Javier Bardem), escape from the Devil’s Triangle. Jack’s only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, but to find it, he must forge an uneasy alliance with a brilliant and beautiful astronomer and a headstrong young man in the British navy.

Analysis: The last film didn’t do well in the U.S., but it cleaned up overseas. I expect the same here.

Release Date: May 26, 2017

June

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

Two elementary school students, George Beard and Harold Hutchins, hypnotise their arrogant principal, Benny Krupp, who transforms into their titular kind hearted comic book creation.

Analysis: I couldn’t find a trailer for this… and the concept just holds zero interest to me personally.

Release Date: June 2, 2017

Wonder Woman

In the early 20th century, the Amazon princess Diana, who is living on the island of Themyscira, meets American military pilot Steve Trevor when he is washed ashore. After learning from him about the ongoing events of World War I, she leaves her home to bring an early end to the war.

Analysis: Folks seem excited for this one, myself included, but the DC film series has proven rough so far.

Release Date: June 2, 2017

It Comes At Night

Secure within a desolate home as an unnatural threat terrorizes the world, the tenuous domestic order a man has established with his wife and son is put to the ultimate test with the arrival of a desperate young family seeking refuge. Despite the best intentions of both families, paranoia and mistrust boil over as the horrors outside creep ever-closer, awakening something hidden and monstrous within him as he learns that the protection of his family comes at the cost of his soul.

Analysis: Another film about a plague and how people deal with it. I mean, these concepts work, but it is becoming a genre unto itself. Will probably do well still.

Release Date: June 9, 2017

The Mummy

Thought safely entombed in a tomb deep beneath the unforgiving desert, an ancient princess (Sofia Boutella of Kingsman: The Secret Service and Star Trek Beyond) whose destiny was unjustly taken from her is awakened in our current day, bringing with her malevolence grown over millennia and terrors that defy human comprehension.

Analysis: No.

Release Date: June 9, 2017

All Eyez on Me

Tupac Shakur bio pic that follows his life up through his murder in Las Vegas in 1996

Analysis: It won’t set the box office on fire, but it will do well.

Release Date: June 16, 2017

Cars 3

It will follow Lightning McQueen as a new generation of sleek race cars arrive and he is forced to retire from racing after a horrible crash. With help from race technician Cruz Ramirez, he begins training to get back in the game.

Analysis: So… this series is slowly morphing into Rocky if he was a car? The second film didn’t do great numbers, and I’m not sure if snyone is that interested in a third one.

Release Date: June 16, 2017

Rough Night

Five best friends from college (played by Scarlett Johansson, Kate McKinnon, Jillian Bell, Ilana Glazer, and Zoë Kravitz) reunite 10 years later for a wild bachelorette weekend in Miami. Their hard partying takes a hilariously dark turn when they accidentally kill a male stripper. Amidst the craziness of trying to cover it up, they’re ultimately brought closer together when it matters most.

Analysis: It feels familiar in a The Hangover kind of way. Should do decent numbers, though.

Release Date: June 16, 2017

47 Meters Down

Two sisters, vacationing in Mexico, are trapped in a shark cage at the bottom of the ocean, with less than an hour of oxygen left and great white sharks circling nearby.

Analysis: Not for me, but people love shark movies.

Release Date: June 23, 2017

Transformers: The Last Knight

In the absence of Optimus Prime, a battle for survival has commenced between the human race and the Transformers. Cade Yeager forms an alliance with Bumblebee, an English lord, and an Oxford professor to learn why the Transformers keep coming back to Earth.

Analysis: Just let this end. It will do well overseas, but will have so-so business in the U.S.

Release Date: June 23, 2017

Amityville: The Awakening

Belle, her little sister Juliet, and her comatose twin brother James move into a new house with their single mother Joan in order to save money to help pay for her brother’s expensive healthcare. But when strange phenomena begin to occur in the house including the miraculous recovery of her brother and Belle’s increasingly horrifying nightmares, Belle begins to suspect her mother isn’t telling her everything and soon realizes they just moved into the infamous Amityville house.

Analysis: This film has been finished for a few years and keeps getting shifted around. Doesn’t leave much hope for it. It was originally scheduled for 2015… and then 2016… you get the idea.

Release Date: June 30, 2017

Despicable Me 3

Gru faces off against Balthazar Bratt, a former child star who has grown up to become obsessed with the character that he played in the ’80s, and gets into some sibling rivalry when he meets his long-lost charming, cheerful, and more successful twin brother Dru who wants to team up with him for one last criminal heist to steal the diamond that Bratt has stolen.

Analysis: It will do big numbers… if there are enough Minions in it.

Release Date: June 30, 2017

The House

To afford their daughter’s college tuition, her parents (Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler) begin operating an underground casino.

Analysis: Great cast, should do a decent amount.

Release Date: June 30, 2017

Wish Upon

A high school student (Joey King) finds a mysterious music box that grants her seven wishes, which bring her happiness and success, while the people closest to her begin to die.

Analysis: $12M budget… it will do fine.

Release Date: June 30, 2017



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