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March 31 2018

The Movies of 2018 – 2nd Quarter

Welcome to the second of four parts of an analysis of every major film release of 2018.

Following up on last year’s project, I’m back with a look at the films of 2018. And as usual, I will be breaking it down by quarters and then an overall review. I prefer the new method of doing these quarterly, so here is how this year will break down:

There are some clear, “What in the world were they thinking?” projects coming out this year, and there are some that I think will surprise all of us.

Hopefully you enjoy this as it is a huge undertaking each year, but one I enjoy doing.

Please note that titles and release dates can change at any time, none of these are written in stone.

April

Blockers

Release Date: April 6, 2018

When three parents stumble upon their daughters’ pact to lose their virginity on prom night, they launch a covert one-night operation to stop the teens from sealing the deal.

Analysis: No thanks… seriously, no thanks.

Chappaquiddick

Release Date: April 6, 2018

Through true accounts, documented in the inquest from the investigation in 1969, the scandal and mysterious events surrounding the drowning of Mary Jo Kopechne (Kate Mara) after Ted Kennedy (Jason Clarke) drove his car off the infamous bridge. Not only did this event take the life of an aspiring political strategist and Kennedy insider, but it ultimately changed the course of presidential history, intimately exposing the broad reach of political power, the influence of America’s most celebrated family, and the vulnerability of Ted Kennedy, the youngest son, in the shadow of his family legacy.

Analysis: I’m sure it will be well made… and hardly anyone will see it.

The Miracle Season

Release Date: April 6, 2018

Caroline “Line” Found is the star player and captain of the volleyball team at West High School in Iowa City, Iowa. Her tragic death in an accident inspires Caroline’s coach and teammates to band together to try and win the state championship.

Analysis: Ladies and gentlemen, get out your paint by number “feel good movie” paint sets.

A Quiet Place

Release Date: April 6, 2018

If they hear you, they hunt you.

Analysis: Tense horror films always do moderately well at least.

Borg vs. McEnroe

Release Date: April 13, 2018

A rivalry develops between the placid Björn Borg and the volatile John McEnroe.

Analysis: No thanks, I’ve seen a tennis movie recently. Plus… Shia LaBeouf.

Rampage

Release Date: April 13, 2018

Primatologist Davis Okoye shares an unshakable bond with George, an extraordinarily intelligent, silverback gorilla that’s been in his care since birth. When a rogue genetic experiment goes wrong, it causes George, a wolf and a reptile to grow to a monstrous size. As the mutated beasts embark on a path of destruction, Okoye teams up with a discredited genetic engineer and the military to secure an antidote and prevent a global catastrophe.

Analysis: How many people really remember Rampage was a game? No clue why they decided to use this license. Dwayne Johnson aren’t bullet proof any more, so no clue how this will do.

Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero

Release Date: April 13, 2018

A stray dog is rescued off the streets by an American soldier and goes on to become a hero of World War I.

Analysis: This looks visually awful. I’ll pass.

Truth or Dare

Release Date: April 13, 2018

A seemingly harmless game of truth or dare turns deadly when someone — or something — begins to punish those who tell a lie or refuse a dare.

Analysis: It’s a Blumhouse movie which means it was made for nothing and will make a profit.

I Feel Pretty

Release Date: April 20, 2018

An ordinary woman who struggles with feelings of insecurity and inadequacy on a daily basis wakes from a fall believing she is suddenly the most beautiful and capable woman on the planet. With this newfound confidence, she is empowered to live her life fearlessly and flawlessly, but what will happen when she realizes her appearance never changed?

Analysis: Eh… not a huge Amy Schumer fan personally.

Super Troopers 2

Release Date: April 20, 2018

Five wacky troopers must set up a new highway patrol station as the United States and Canada dispute the location of the border.

Analysis: The first one was funny, but I never have understood the cult status it obtained. This one will do okay, but definitely no huge numbers.

Traffik

Release Date: April 20, 2018

Brea and John embark on a romantic weekend getaway to an isolated estate in the mountains. They are pleasantly surprised when two of their friends, Darren and Malia, also show up unexpectedly. Their plans for fun soon give way to terror when members of a violent biker gang invade the peaceful countryside. Banded together, they now find themselves in a fight for their lives as their assailants will stop at nothing to protect their secrets from the outside world.

Analysis: Will do moderately well.

Avengers: Infinity War

Release Date: April 27, 2018

Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk and the rest of the Avengers unite to battle their most powerful enemy yet — the evil Thanos. On a mission to collect all six Infinity Stones, Thanos plans to use the artifacts to inflict his twisted will on reality. The fate of the planet and existence itself has never been more uncertain as everything the Avengers have fought for has led up to this moment.

Analysis: Do I even really need to say anything?

May

Bad Samaritan

Release Date: May 4, 2018

A young valet breaks into a man’s home and discovers a terrified woman who’s chained and gagged. After notifying the police, he soon becomes the target of the psychopath’s wrath as he tries to rescue the victim that he left behind.

Analysis: Looks intense. Not sure how it will do at the box office, but I’m intrigued… minus Dean Devlin directing.

Overboard

Release Date: May 4, 2018

A spoiled playboy from a wealthy Mexican family winds up with amnesia after falling off his yacht. A single, working-class mom convinces him that they are married.

Analysis: Not sure this was a remake we needed, but Anna Faris is always entertaining.

Tully

Release Date: May 4, 2018

Marlo, a mother of three, is gifted a night nanny by her brother. Hesitant to the extravagance at first, Marlo comes to form a unique bond with the thoughtful, surprising, and sometimes challenging young nanny named Tully.

Analysis: It looks possibly good, but at the same time the trailer feels very forced in general. Not sure.

Breaking In

Release Date: May 11, 2018

A woman takes her two children on a weekend getaway to her late father’s secluded, high-tech estate in the countryside. She soon finds herself in a desperate fight to save all of their lives when four men break into the house in search of something.

Analysis: Home invasion movies seem to be a genre at this point. Will probably do okay.

Life of the Party

Release Date: May 11, 2018

Dumped by her husband, longtime housewife Deanna turns regret into reset by going back to college. Winding up at the same school as her daughter, Deanna plunges headlong into the campus experience — embracing the fun, the freedom and the frat boys.

Analysis: Melissa McCarthy almost always turn a profit. No fears this one won’t either.

Revenge

Release Date: May 11, 2018

Three wealthy, married men learn a brutal lesson when one of them takes his mistress on their annual hunting trip.

Analysis: Won’t do much at the box office, but it has me intrigued.

Book Club

Release Date: May 18, 2018

Diane (Diane Keaton) is recently widowed after 40 years of marriage, Vivian (Jane Fonda) enjoys her men with no strings attached, Sharon (Candice Bergen) is still working through her decades-old divorce, and Carol’s (Mary Steenburgen) marriage is in a slump after 35 years. The lives of these four lifelong friends are turned upside down after reading the infamous “50 Shades of Grey,” catapulting them into a series of outrageous life choices.

Analysis: Okay… wait. It’s a movie about people reading Fifty Shades of Grey? I… what?

Deadpool 2

Release Date: May 18, 2018

Wisecracking mercenary Deadpool battles the evil and powerful Cable and other bad guys to save a boy’s life.

Analysis: That sound you hear is money being printed.

Show Dogs

Release Date: May 18, 2018

A detective finds adventure with his unlikely partner — a canine cop who has to go under cover at the world’s most exclusive dog show.

Analysis: … as opposed to Deadpool 2 making the sound of money being printed, this is the sound of me jumping off a cliff.

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Release Date: May 25, 2018

Through a series of daring escapades, young Han Solo meets his future co-pilot Chewbacca and encounters the notorious gambler Lando Calrissian.

Analysis: It will do well, but the question is how well.

June

Action Point

Release Date: June 4, 2018

D.C. is the crackpot owner of Action Point — a low-rent, out-of-control amusement park where the rides are designed with minimum safety for maximum fun. Just as his estranged daughter Boogie comes to visit, a corporate mega-park opens nearby and jeopardizes the future of Action Point. To save his beloved park and his relationship with Boogie, D.C. and his loony crew of misfits must risk everything to pull out all the stops and save the day.

Analysis: Hard pass.

Adrift

Release Date: June 4, 2018

As the two avid sailors set out on a journey across the ocean, Tami Oldham and Richard Sharp couldn’t anticipate they would be sailing directly into one of the most catastrophic hurricanes in recorded history. In the aftermath of the storm, Tami awakens to find Richard badly injured and their boat in ruins. With no hope for rescue, Tami must find the strength and determination to save herself and the man she loves.

Analysis: Looks fine, won’t break any sort of records.

Hereditary

Release Date: June 8, 2018

When the matriarch of the Graham family passes away, her daughter’s family begins to unravel cryptic and terrifying secrets about their ancestry. The more they discover, the more they find themselves trying to outrun their sinister fate.

Analysis: Looks super weird, but will probably do okay.

Ocean’s 8

Release Date: June 8, 2018

Criminal mastermind Debbie Ocean and seven other female thieves try to pull off the heist of the century at New York’s annual Met Gala. Their target — a necklace that’s worth more than $150 million.

Analysis: I think saddling this with the “Ocean” name was a bad idea. I think it would do better if it was a new IP.

The Incredibles 2

Release Date: June 15, 2018

Elastigirl springs into action to save the day, while Mr. Incredible faces his greatest challenge yet — taking care of the problems of his three children.

Analysis: It will do big money.

Tag

Release Date: June 15, 2018

One month every year, five highly competitive friends hit the ground running for a no-holds-barred game of tag — risking their necks, their jobs and their relationships to take one another down. This time, the game coincides with the wedding of the only undefeated player. What should be an easy target soon becomes an all-out war as he knows they’re coming to get him.

Analysis: Love the cast, but this is definitely more of a home watch than going to the theater.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Release Date: June 22, 2018

Four years after the destruction of the Jurassic World theme park, Owen Grady and Claire Dearing return to the island of Isla Nublar to save the remaining dinosaurs from a volcano that’s about to erupt. They soon encounter terrifying new breeds of gigantic dinos while uncovering a conspiracy that threatens the entire planet.

Analysis: I don’t think it will be as big as the last one, but it’s still going to bring in a ton of money.

Sicario 2: Soldado

Release Date: June 29, 2018

FBI agent Matt Graver calls on mysterious operative Alejandro Gillick when Mexican drug cartels start to smuggle terrorists across the U.S. border. The war escalates even further when Alejandro kidnaps a top kingpin’s daughter to deliberately increase the tensions. When the young girl is seen as collateral damage, the two men will determine her fate as they question everything that they are fighting for.

Analysis: I loved the first movie, but we’re going with a “heart of gold” story? Seriously? Pass.

Valley Girl

Release Date: June 29, 2018

A valley girl and a punk rocker from the city defy their parents and friends to stay together.

Analysis: First off, ‘valley girls’ aren’t the same thing they were in the 1980s. Second… it stars Logan Paul of the suicide YouTube video fiasco. I’m shocked this movie is still even on the schedule.



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