Would someone mind telling me why in the world how much someone weighs should matter to anyone but the person who is carrying it?

Case in point is professional dancer Cheryl Burke, one of the fan favorites from Dancing With The Stars, apparently put on five pounds over the summer.  She opted to take this summer off, her first time off in several years, and was not dancing her usual 7 hours a day.  Even with the “weight gain” (which was said to be mainly in her shoulder blade area) she still fit into her size 4 costumes.

In a recent article on the Chicago Sun-Times website, they went into great detail about how many nasty comments and blog posts have been made about Cheryl’s change in weight.  Apparently she finally went on Good Morning America (video link) and addressed the issue, saying that the comments had been very hurtful and she had some emotional moments over what had been said.  While I would say Ms. Burke needs to grow a slightly thicker skin, I do think any comments about her gain are just ludicrous.

Now you would think in an article about how she was hurt by the comments, and explaining her weight and size, people might take a hint not to say more, but, alas, this is the Internet.  (spelling and grammar mistakes are all of the commentor from the)

Cheryl needs to look at herself in the mirror and pictures. Her butt and thighs are huge. She needs to compare with other coworkers or people who are the top of the game that not the right look for professional dancers. It does not matter how good she dances because your appearance does not appealing to watch it. People who turned to be huge and fat are all said that same things like she said. Honestly, she is fat with humounous butt and thighs. I like her but if she is keeping her fat weights right now or getting fatter, I probably my mind would gradually not going to be her fan anymore. She needs to be realistic that she is fat. Like one of the trainer, the blonde hair, not tall and chubby, she has exercised hard and makes a living out of it why she does not have nice body but because she keeps on exercising hard for her carrer that why she does not turn to be big butt and thigh like she was born to be which is the same like Cheryl. Cheryl is in public eyes. She needs to want to look good or the best herself, nobody could make her do it. She is fat if not like a pig but she would if she keeps on denial it and gets people to cheer her that it is okay and good to look like now. They do not tell the truth or in the eyes of the beholder. Well! be honest she is getting fat and fatter. If she or anyone who was born with big butt and thighs then they should live with it, right! WRONG!!! Look at the trainer who has the same generic problems like Cheryl but she beats it by working out A LOT and diet. No pain, no gain! It is her choice! It would be sad that she would choose to let go and be natural (FAT). Britney Spears at least she has 2 kids. Cheryl, if you let yourself go and keeps denying the truth and feel hurt and does not listen to any criticism then you have a chance to be like STAR JONES before her diet and plastic surgery with a lot of scars everywhere. People does not want you to be better than them.
Good Luck!

Okay, first… wow.  How about some people worry about actually talking like they’ve gotten an edumakation before commenting on someone elses “carrer”.  All that aside, I go back to my original comment about why should anyone’s weight matter to anyone beyond the person carrying the weight?  Obviously it shouldn’t, but this has become a real problem in the United States where young girls are constantly bombarded with “be thin, be thin” imagery and comments. Is it any wonder that anorexia is a problem here?

And there was this portion of a comment by another user.

I really think most of the people who thinks it’s okay for a PROFESSIONAL DANCER to look like this is overweight themselves and defending her so as not to look so bad themselves. She’s not just a woman, she’s not a mom who just recently had children, she’s in a profession where her body is her one tool.

Well, guess what, I am overweight (something I am very up front about), and I will defend her because I think it is just pure insanity to call a size 4 woman “fat”.  Yes, I am trying to lose weight, but I am doing this strictly for myself, and no one else and I think everyone, no matter what their size or profession, should just be allowed to be themselves.  If they are comfortable, if they can work with the weight they are at, then it is simply no one elses business.

Honestly, the only thing I can figure is that these people’s lives are so sad, they have to find an excuse to tear down someone else, and if that is the case, I would much rather be fat than so petty.

It would seem Paramount is none too happy with the fall premiere of South Park that aired earlier this week.

-looks outside- Yep, the sky is blue.

Nikki Finke at Deadline Hollywood Daily is saying that executives at Paramount or more than just a bit displeased about the content of the episode entitled “The China Probrem”.  It wasn’t the “A” story that had to deal with Cartman trying to stave off an impending Chinese invasion of the USA, but the “B” story that dealt with the other boys trying to cope with imagery of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg raping Indiana Jones.

Yeah… you read that right.

The kids saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull over the summer, and having been dealing with the guilt of having watched their favorite adventurer getting “raped”, and not doing anything about it.  Of course the rape was metaphorical for the disaster the script was, but at three separate points in the episode, we were shown Lucas and Spielberg actually raping Indiana in scenes that were homages to rape scenes from A Clockwork Orange, The Accused and Deliverance, as well as sending up all the scenes in rape movies where people will finally agree to helping the victims.  At the very end of the episode we were also treated to Spielberg and Lucas raping a Stormtrooper from Star Wars… it was a very uplifting episode.

There are others who are saying the rape metaphor shouldn’t have been used at all.  While I certainly do not find the traditional definition of rape amusing at all, how many times have people and writers said, “They raped my childhood…”, “They raped that character…”, “The government is raping us…” etc?  The word has taken on so many meanings in our lexicon, but did anyone stop to think that was what the show was trying to portray?  I heard many people say Indiana got raped by the fourth movie, so the show just took it literally, and people get worked up over it.  You have to selective sensitivity.

According to Ms. Finke, Paramount execs are not happy with parent company Viacom as they also own Comedy Central, and allowed this episode to go forward.  I would image a lot of their anger is because the DVD for the movie is coming out on October 14th, so having the movie picked on so publicly this close to release probably doesn’t thrill them.  Also according to Ms. Finke, Paramount is planning to keep quiet on the subject in public venues as they want the issue to go away, but since when have bloggers allowed an issue to die?

This isn’t the first time Paramount has been angry at Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of the series.  Back in 2006 they were also displeased with them over the Tom Cruise/Scientology episode, “Trapped In A Closet”, as Cruise was one of their biggest box office draws at the time.  At that time they did complain, and the episode was pulled from the usual rotation after only one repeat airing.  I think it is rather obvious that the suits at Paramount need to get a much thicker skin about things.

South Park works because all subjects are equal fodder for them, and it is just about guaranteed that there will eventually be an episode that offends you/insults something you believe in. If the show was to consider Paramount properties off limits, how would that be fair? It wouldn’t.

It concerns me that comedy writing seems to be taking so many hits from various sides as of late. Earlier this week we had the Saturday Night Live video pulled from the web over two jokes at the expense of a couple involved in the sub-prime loan disaster.  Now we have South Park under fire again for making fun of another company in the Viacom family.  Are we suddenly seeing the rise again of the political correctness boom from the 1980’s and comedy writers are going to have what they can write about being dictated to them by committee and lawyers?

Comedy, and all of its derivatives such as satire, should enjoy the utmost freedom under the 1st amendment, but yet it seems there are many out there who feel it should have more and more restraints put on it.  Is it outright censorship?  No, but suggesting things shouldn’t be written about sure is a close second.

It has once again become apparent that Hollywood has run out of ideas.  According to Variety, the Fox network is planning to remake one of the most successful British comedies of all time, Absolutely Fabulous.

For those of you unfamiliar with the original show, AbFab (as it is known to its fans) is the story of two school friends, Edina (Jennifer Saunders) and Patsy (Joanna Lumley), who have aged less than gracefully.  No matter how out of touch they are with their own age, and what is truly cool, they have more money than brains, and cling desperately to trying to be “in” with people far younger than themselves.  All of this is done with the disapproving eye of Edina’s very prudish daughter, Saffron (Julia Sawalha).

The series was born out of a single sketch on the French & Saunders show, and ended up running for five seasons in England for a total of 37 episodes spread over 13 years.  When it was imported to America, it had an instant cult following for its crass and crude humor, and became a gigantic hit with the gay community.  (there were several hints over the five seasons that Patsy may not have always been a woman, but it was always kept very vague)

At the height of its popularity, Roseanne Barr put the wheels into motion to do an American version, and even went so far as to have Edina and Patsy appear in one episode of her hit series.  This import of the series was eventually killed off as Roseanne finally realized the humor was not going to import to a broader American audience all that easily.

Flash forward to 2008, and now Fox thinks they can pull it off.  Normally I would immediately write this off as a sure fire disaster, but sadly it is being spearheaded by Mitch Hurwitz, the creator of Arrested Development.  Anyone who has read this blog for any length of time knows that I think AD is one of the most brilliant American sitcoms ever crafted, and if anyone can do dysfunctional characters, it is Mr. Hurwitz.  Then there is the second caveat keeping this from complete disaster, and that is the involvement of Edina herself, Jennifer Saunders, as one of the producers.

Even with those great talents behind the scenes, I have a hard time believing they will be able to bring this show to the USA and keep it’s charms intact.  Take the characters chain smoking for instance.  In the English version, several episodes revolved around the fact Patsy fell asleep in the kitchen with a lit cigarette, and the room was burned to a cinder, causing major renovations.  There was another episode that focused heavily on the fact that Patsy tried quitting smoking and it seemed nicotine had seemed to seep out of her into the multiple patches she was wearing.  Certainly this will be dropped for the USA version, but that is unfortunate because their smoking is very much a part of who they are.  These characters WOULD smoke, no matter what the atmosphere in society is towards it.

Their binge drinking may survive as Karen (Megan Mullally) on Will & Grace was a heavy drinker (and fairly obvious she was an amalgamation of the two women from AbFab).  Their drug use will probably need to be toned down, as will some of Patsy’s sexual escapades.

In short, I think Roseanne had it right when she dropped the project all those years ago.  This, like so much British humor, will be difficult to import to America.  While Edina & Patsy are broadly drawn archetypes, they are played with loving subtlety by the actresses who inhabited them. No matter how vile they were, you couldn’t help but love them because you knew they did what they did out of stupidity.  American actors have a tendency to not be able to convey this sort of situation without slamming through it in a ham fisted manner. Also, our writers don’t usually grasp such things like that either.

With Mr. Hurwitz and Ms. Saunders involved, I hold out some hope this won’t be as large a disaster as some other British imports have been, but I won’t hold my breath for it being good either. Once again I am left to wonder why we must import so many of our ideas and concepts for television and movies. The mind truly boggles.

Saturday Night Live has another predicament on their hands.

On The October 4th episode they ran a sketch about the federal bailout of the banks.  I felt the skit was rather even handed, poking fun at both President Bush and the Democratic controlled congress, especially Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.  After the episode aired, five skits from the episode were posted to the web, including the bailout sketch, but on Monday the bailout one mysteriously disappeared.  If you go to any blog that posted it, you will see the following screen (please note this is a screen shot and not an actual embed, so no controls work in it)

What happened?  Conspiracy theories are running rampant, and I would usually ignore such things, but now there are reports that NBC is deleting any comments from their site that question where the video went.  This says to me that there is indeed something amiss here.

Michelle Malkin has posted a transcript of the missing SNL skit, and has also pointed out what could possibly be the reason behind NBC taking it down… it smells of legal threats.

I have a theory.

One of the rapacious couples featured in the skit was Herbert and Marion Sandler (portrayed by Darrell Hammond and Casey Wilson). Unlike the other composite figures, the Sandlers are a real-life couple.

Also lampooned: Left-wing billionaire George Soros.

As Todd Thurman at Heritage notes, the Sandlers are left-wing moguls who built “a mortgage company whose major product was subprime mortgages and they sold it to Wachovia for $24.2 billion in 2006. And what do the Sandlers do when they are not peddling subprime garbage? They are busy writing checks to leftist groups like the Center for American Progress, the American Civil Liberties Union, and Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN). Yes that ACORN.”

The Sandlers are seething over the skit. And George Soros must be livid as well. Anyone else smell a legal threat behind the disappearance of the vid?

It is true that the Sandlers are seething as mentioned in this article from USA Today, no clue if there is any truth to the statement about Mr. Soros.

Whatever the reason is for the removal, this stinks.  SNL has a long tradition of satire aimed at both sides of the aisle, and to show favoritism to one or the other is just not right, and it is certainly not keeping with the tradition of the show.  True, the skit did air, but it sets a deadly precedent for the show going forward.  Are they no longer going to be allowed to make fun of real life people for fear of future incidents such as this?  Perhaps the tag line under the image of the Sandlers that said “People who should be shot” was a bit much, but who cares?  It’s satire!

I defended SNL two weeks ago over the New York Times skit, and while I felt the skit was more about the media than the Republicans, I did say in the comments I was worried about the lack of material pointed at the Democrats thus far this season.  We did see some humor at the expense of Senator Joe Biden in the opening vice presidential debate sketch, which is still online, but with this one being yanked, the message is unclear.

Ali Gharib of the HuffingtonPost.com has a theory about how the sketch even came about.

But where did SNL get the idea? It’s hard to say exactly, but one possibility lies in the insidious web of neocon connections — a web that actually runs through the backstage halls of SNL.

Ayala Cohen, an SNL associate producer, is the wife of soon-to-be editor of the neocon journal Commentary, John Podhoretz (according to this site, and though I couldn’t confirm her title, I did confirm by phone that Cohen is still with SNL). Podhoretz, of course, is the son of longtime Commentary editor and neocon sage Norman Podhoretz.

Uh… yeah.  I’m sorry to inform Mr. Gharib, SNL has always poked fun at both sides, this is not something cooked up by “neocon connections”.  If this was remotely true, would we have had three Palin sketches already out of four episodes?  No.

So, why was the sketch removed from the Web?  Was it yanked for the Democrat portion?  Was it because of the Sandlers?  Was it because of Soros?  No matter which answer it is, it is a disturbing one.  Can political or financial pressure now dictate at whom the writers of SNL can point their wit at?  If there was something else about the sketch it would have been stopped before airing by standards and practices, and I do believe all SNL skits are run through the legal department before airing.

As of this writing, NBC and SNL have both not responded to inquiries made by various press outlets as to what happened.  With each passing moment this is becoming a more sinister situation, and the silence from the NBC camp is deafening.  If it is a situation where they can’t discuss it due to legal proceedings, than they need to say that.  If it was due to some form of other pressure, well, at least say something!

UPDATED AT 4:45 PM CST: Nikki Finke is reporting that the video is coming back online, but with the Sandlers section edited to take out the “shot in the head” comment and removal of the charge of corruption… way to go, NBC… you idiots.

I watch listen to a lot of TV as I do my writing, and the new onslaught of pitchmen and annoying products is just amazing.

Over there, to the right… do you see him?  Don’t look directly at Vince!  His crazy eyes have the power to hypnotize you into buying a ShamWOW! (”It’s made in Germany, and you know the Germans make the best stuff.”)  To call Vince annoying would be an understatement, but of course he doesn’t replace my least favorite TV huckster, Billy Mays.  Oh Billy, you’ve come so far, what with you now advertising Mighty Mendit.

So today I saw an ad for the latest in the never ending stream of junk that gets thrown at us via TV ads: The Snuggie.  What grabbed my attention that, besides this looking like the robe for some unknown cult, it came with a folding book light.

Huh?

What does a folding booklight have to do with a flannel cult robe?  So, being a curious sort, I headed over to their website, and no real clues as to the connection between the two items, but I decided to explore the site some, and discovered the horrifying truth… the same company is behind the ShamWOW!, Mighty Mendit, Mighty Putty (also hawked by Billy Mays), a few others, and my absolute favorite… the Pancake Puff.

What is wrong with normal flat pancakes?  Essentially you are making donought holes, call them donought holes!  And stuffing a “pancake” with pizza filling?!?  You really have to wonder who comes up with these things.

I think I am most shocked to discover they didn’t make the Handy Switch, I wonder how that one got away from them!  As I asked in my post about the remote light switch wonder, I really do wonder how orders these things.  If you read this, and you have bought any one of these items I’ve mentioned, or even one I haven’t, please explain to me and my readers why you bought it, and did it live up to your expectations?  That is the one thing I have always heard that they don’t so that is what causes a lot of my confusion.

Here is your chance folks, go down to the comments and let loose with your thoughts on anything you have ever bought from a TV ad!  I really am curious to hear from real people that have bought any of these items or the like.

On the episode of Saturday Night Live that aired on September 20th, there was a sketch about the New York Times sending their writers to Alaska to sniff out as much as they can about Governor Palin.

Host James Franco is playing the assignments editor and pitching the assignment to his staff.  As they are going over possible angles, the following exchange happens:

Reporter: What about the husband? You know he’s doing those daughters. I mean, come on. It’s Alaska.
Assignments Editor: He very well could be. Admittedly, there is no evidence of that, but on the other hand, there is no convincing evidence to the contrary. And these are just some of the lingering questions about Governor Palin.

At the end of the sketch, the reporter that asked this question is shown on the cover of the New York Times with the headline “While No Direct Evidence of Incest in Palin Family Emerges, Counter Evidence Remains Agonizingly Elusive” and “In a Small Alaska Town, Doubts Still Linger.”  It seems that some people are taking great offense to this portion of the sketch, and it has made it on to Fox News.

The article goes on about how maybe this whole sketch was about how the staff of the paper is out of touch with anything west of the Hudson river, however the rest of the article goes on and on about how this is harkening back to the rumors earlier this month that Governor Palin is not the mother of her youngest son, Trig and so on.

If the sketch had only pointed out about things about politics, I would say they have a case, but the sketch really was just focused on how New Yorkers fear what they don’t understand, which was pretty much anything.

• None of the writers in the sketch knew how to drive a stick… none had drivers licenses… they all thought they would get around by taxi.
• One writer stated he would need the number of two psychoanalysts while there to continue his treatment, but he was informed in all of Alaska there was only one licensed doctor for that.  He paniced.
• None of them could identify a shotgun or a snowmobile.
• Two writers dropped out when they discovered there was no Thai delivery food.
• One writer was positive he would be attacked by a polar bear, but he was assured there was none in the area where they would be.  (it was later revealed he was killed by a polar bear)

In the most damning moment of the sketch proving this was more about New Yorkers, and how out of touch with reality the paper was, the sketch was dated as events happening on Septmber 8th.  One writer was reluctant to go because he didn’t want to leave a story he was working on about Lehman Brothers facing potential financial problems.  He was informed by the editor that it could wait, Lehman Brothers would still be there when he got back.

This sketch was clearly about the the out of touch nature of the newspaper itself, and I felt it got the point across fairly well.  As for the Palin/incest joke, yes, this scenario has been floated by some bloggers, but that’s what SNL has been doing for 34 seasons and that’s touching on current events.  Palin is in the news, the paternity of Trig has been in the news, this makes the subject fair game to them.  If you don’t like it, well, I don’t know what to tell you except to not watch SNL.

Here is the part of the Fox News story that made me laugh out loud, though.  First off they use a very accusatory tone about how the video fo the sketch is not available on the NBC website.

Now, some bloggers are urging protests of the show be sent to producer Lorne Michaels. The video was not posted on the SNL Web site.

Well, I went and looked, and only five sketches were posted from this week’s episode.  Yes, the sketch in question is missing, but so was the one I actually thought was the funniest of the episode, “The Cougar’s Den” about older women obsessed with younger men.  Wow… NBC must have received protests from The Cougar Coalition to not post that sketch.

The article then had the following note tacked on the end:

Editor’s Note: When this story was originally published at 12:07 pm ET, the video was available on YouTube. It has since been removed and a notice posted that NBC Universal has issued a copyright claim. Many other SNL videos remain on YouTube.

Yes, it is true that the video was removed over a copyright notice, but so are dozens of other SNL videos removed in the same manner every day. Yes, there are some others on the site, but they honestly go up so fast, I doubt anyone could keep up with taking them down.  However, the way Fox News said it made me think back to the “Admittedly, there is no evidence of that, but on the other hand, there is no convincing evidence to the contrary.” line from the sketch.  There is no evidence this was removed due to pressure, it was just removed over the usual copyright issues.

I think everyone needs to just take a step back, take a deep breath and relax.  Remember, this is a comedy show, and SNL has a long history of picking on anyone and everything.  I will admit that in the first two episodes of this season there has not yet been an Obama sketch, but I think that is partially due to them lacking a strong Obama impersonator.  They attempted using Fred Armissan last season, and, well, to be honest, he sucked.  I am sure his turn is coming.

There are so many bigger issues in this election, why get worked up over a joke on a sketch comedy show known for pushing boundaries?  It’s beyond me.

HBO launched a new vampire series called True Blood a little over a week ago, and, everyone hold on to your hats, I’m enjoying it!

I know, I know, most people are used to me ragging on all forms of media, and that’s not to say it’s without it’s faults, but it is holding my attention.

The basic premise is that a Japanese company came up with a synthetic blood named “True Blood”, and once this was known, vampires decided to “come out of the coffin”.  Over the two years since this happened, they have been integrating into society, and are even on the verge of getting the Vampire Rights Bill passed to give them equal rights with mortals in the United States.

In Bon Temps, LA, small town waitress Sookie Stackhouse (Played by Oscar winning actress Anna Paquin) has been anxious to meet one.  Then, one night Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) walks into her bar, and she is instantly attracted to him.  Part of the reason may be that Sookie has been telepathic her entire life, and she has trouble turning it off, but for some reason all she hears from Bill is silence, and she finds it relaxing.

I won’t give away any more of the plot details, but I have to say I am intrigued by a lot of aspects of the show, and it quickly sets up a lot of mysteries that I am anxious to figure out.  Who killed the town tramp?  What is going on with Sookie’s brother?  Why does a mysterious dog seem to follow Sookie everywhere she goes, and why does Bill keep smiling at it like he knows something?

What I didn’t know going into this was that is based on an 8 novel series called The Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris.  The first episode intrigued me enough to go ahead and order the first novel, Dead Until Dark, which I, of course, have not had time to read yet.  I also must admit that I went ahead and picked it up because the show debuted to fairly low ratings, and it makes me worried we won’t get past the first 12 episodes they’ve filmed.  True, I may lost interest a couple episodes in (only two have aired so far), but for now it has me looking forward to each new episode.

If you’ve got the time, go ahead and check it out.  If you like vampire stories, you’ll like it.  If you like Souther style mysteries, you’ll like it.

The only thing I truly hate about the series?  I’ve long had an idea for a vampire story that a synthetic blood played a large aspect in… d’oh!

***MAJOR SPOILERS***

Continue Reading ->

The Olympics are finally over, and I have a few parting thoughts on the whole thing.  (I know you’re all shocked by this.

NBC

NBC, the broadcaster of the games here in the United States has nothing to be proud of.  Yes, they had a record number of viewers, but the way this was handled doesn’t justify them crowing about it.  I’ll even ignore the fact that they white-washed everything abotu China, presenting us with nothing but fluff pieces about how warm and cuddly China is, I am sure they were mindful of censors, but it was the way they tape delayed everything.

Mind you that back in 2006 they asked the International Olympic Committee (IOC) to move certain events so they would air in primetime in the USA, if things weren’t moved, they just tape delayed it.  At around 12:30 AM on August 24th, the United States men’s volleyball team was playing for the gold medal against Brazil.  This was a high profile game due to the fact that the the father-in-law of the coach had been killed early in the games by a random knifing, and his mother-in-law was seriously injured, but lived.

This became a team of great interest to Americans for the way our hearts went out to them, so of course them going for the gold against the number one rated team in the world is a big deal.  It just so happens I know someone who lives in Rio, and she instant messaged me last night when the game began so we could watch it together and root our countries on.  Except there was a small problem in that NBC chose not to show it to me live.  Instead I got to see it a full 15 hours after it had ended so that NBC could show it during prime time.

Sure, you can say they wanted to get their money’s worth out of it, but mind you Brazil was seeing it live at slightly after 2 AM their time.  That seemed to work for Brazil, why not here?  I was in Japan during the 2004 summer games, and all the events for Japan were shown live no matter what the hour.  So why is it that America can’t suck it up and show the events live?  The rights for the 2014 and 2016 games are coming up for auction soon, and according to the New York Times, ABC wants the games, and they are also promising no tape delay if they should get them.  HUZZAH!

I know some peopel will complain about the idea they don’t get to see the events in full, but from my perspective, I hate watching tape delayed sports.  I don’t like spending my day dodging results so it will be new to me.  Anytime something is done live, I think it should be showed live.  Record it if you want to watch it on your schedule, but some of us want live or nothing.  NBC also has enough netwworks to their name they could have a tape delay channel for those who want it, but I for one want live.  Like the opening and closing ceremonies ran a full half-day late here, I just didn’t care by the time they aired because I had seen so much online just from my normal surfing around.

You have two years to the 2010 winter games, NBC… shape up.

The IOC

The IOC has been slow to respond to criticisms that some of the Chinese female gymnasts appear to have been under the eligible age of 16.

While the Chinese government continues to state that the girls were of legal age, pretty much anyone with working eyeballs could see that a few of them were clearly under the age of 16.  While the paperwork for the girls supports this, past registries for other events show specifically that gymnast He Kexin was born on January 1st, 1994, meaning she was not of the correct age to participate this year.  According to the International Herald Tribune, after these descripancies were brought to light, the sources of the information have either been blocked or altered.

So how does one determine the age of someone if the paperwork, which is easily altered, says another thing.  The answer, dear friends, is as easy as an x-ray.  The Los Angeles Times ran a piece on this the other day, and it truly is as easy as x-raying a few bones and they can tell by growth how ole the patient is.  Since the IOC has numerous drug testing requirements, why should x-raying be such a problem?  The answer is simple, it shouldn’t be a problem, and I can’t believe they haven’t asked for this yet.

In my personal opinion, yes, the girls were underage and China cheated, end of story.

What really got my ire up about this whole thing is that Jacques Rogge, head of the IOC, seems more disturbed by a little showboating by Jamician sprinter Usain Bolt than he is by the Chinese possibly cheating.  He said that he felt Bolt should show more respect for his fellow athletes, comments he reaffirmed when he spoke with the Inquirer, “I gave Usain Bolt what I believe is fatherly advice. I stand by what I said.”  He went on to add, “but I repeat what I said - he should show more respect for his opponents. I also said he was a young man of 22, and he has time to mature.”

Well, I have some ‘fatherly advice’ for Mr. Rogge, do not choose Communist countries to host your games, and you may not have issues such as this one with the gymnasts.  Obviously there is a certain embarrassment factor by having to confront your host country about a potential cheating scandal, but get over it, and get with it. Don’t worry about a showboating 22-year-old when there were even more egregious incidents throughout the entire game by many other athletes, some who didn’t even go on to win.  Bolt is fast, he will mature, drop it and look at the more serious issues.

The IOC has spent years now fighting doping scandals, and now it would appear it is time to fight age issues.  Figure out a policy and get it enacted now so this won’t ever have to come up again.

In Closing…

I am sure some of you thought this part wouldn’t come, but here it is.  The Olympics are coming to a crossroads I believe.  Are they a world-unifying force for peace, or are they insanely large business with billions of dollars floating around?  I think the unification factor happens in spite of the business side of things, but the corporate side is getting bigger, meaner and seemingly a whole lot less considerate of what goes on around it.

While I still watched the entirety of the games, I was not thrilled with the location, and when NBC decided to do their fluff pieces about the wonders of the country, it only served to sicken me.  Instead of doing things you knew the censors would let through, just don’t do the fluff pieces at all.  Trying to give a warm & fuzzy spin to a country that everyone knows violates human rights on a whim was just nauseating, and that blame falls squarely to NBC.

The IOC needs to get its priorities straight, and fast.  You handed out 100,000 condoms this year, so obviously you care about pregnancy and STD scandals at the games the sexual health of your athletes, so why not the morality of cheating, no matter what form it takes?

I am sure I will be watching the 2010 winter games, but I sure hope to see some changes made.

***MAJOR SPOILERS***

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Can we just call this “The Breast That Wouldn’t Die“?

In what seems to be the longest ever conversation about a woman’s nipple, the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals yesterday overturned the Federal Communications Council (FCC) $550,000 fine against CBS for the 2004 Janet Jackson nipple exposure during the Super Bowl.  Ars Technica has one of the bust summaries of what exactly the court said:

The court not only calls the new policy “arbitrary and capricious,” but held that CBS was not responsible for the actions of the dancers: Jackson and Justin Timberlake. “Both performers were acting as independent contractors for the limited purpose of providing entertainment services for one isolated, brief program,” the justices ruled.

In the end, the court ruled that CBS did its best to control Jackson and Timberlake’s performance within the context of its independent contractor relationship with the two performers. “When a broadcaster endeavors to exercise proper control, but ultimately fails, to prevent unscripted indecency, it will not have acted with scienter [knowledge of deliberate wrongdoing],” the justices argued, “if its actions were negligent rather than reckless.”

Needless to say, CBS is thrilled, the FCC, not so much.  The FCC will be sticking to their guns and attempting later this year to argue to the Supreme Court that they need tougher restrictions and even more indecency laws.  I would normally put a quote here, but it comes from an Associated Press story, and the AP is now looking to charge bloggers a $1.50 per word to quote them.  (no… I am not kidding)

Not one to be dissuaded by courts, the Parents Television Council (PTC) has waded in on this issue.  In a statement on their website, they claim that this ruling was an example of “activist judges across the country are making a mockery of Federal Broadcast Decency laws”.  Well, I’m not quite sure how the above listed judgment, which spelled out how they reached their decision that CBS was not at fault for the actions of third parties, equates to “activist judges”.  Oh, wait… does that mean they activated their brains and actually interperted the law?

Apparently “activist judge” has come to mean “any judge that makes a ruling I don’t like”.  While the incident was unfortunate, I’ve thought the fine was excessive since the day it was issued, and I have also thought the fining of CBS out of the whole mess was just silly.  MTV produced the show, the NFL approved it, CBS was merely the company to air it, they were not part of the production.  Never let something like facts get in the way of the PTC though and their fear mongering ways.   Hopefully the Supreme Court will keep it’s head when they look into the issue this year, but who knows what will happen.

Until then… “activist judges” for the win!

***MAJOR SPOILERS***

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Don S. Davis was another one of those actors that you would see in a television show or movie and go, “Oh, look, it’s that guy!”  He sadly passed away on June 29th, 2008 of a massive heart attack.

According to IMDB, his first part was on Joanie Loves Chachi, and he worked steadily after that, racking up 135 credits.  The first time I vividly remember him was as Major Garland Briggs on Twin Peaks, then he appeared as Captain William Scully (Dana Scully’s father) on X-Files and of course the 160 episodes of Stargate SG-1 where he played Major General George Hammond.  I often joked with my parents that I thought he had gone out and bought his own Air Force uniform, and that’s how he kept getting cast as officers.

I wasn’t even aware until I was writing this that he was also an artist working with paintings, sculptures, carvings and more.  You can see his work on his gallery site.

He may seem an odd choice for me to write up, considering I usually stick to people like George Carlin and Stan Winston, but I think actors like Mr. Davis never get the credit they are due.  They are never the big flashy ones that you see on the covers of magazines in the check out aisle.  They aren’t taking home the enermous pay checks that equal the GDP of some small countries.  They are the actors who go to work every day to a set for long tedious hours because it’s a job they love.  He was a character actor, and he always brought a lot of color to the project he was working on.

I, for one, will miss him.  R.I.P. Mr. Davis.

According to The NPD Group, Grand Theft Auto IV from Rockstar Games, sold 6 million copies in its first week of release.  At a retail price of $59.99, that puts the gross sales of $359,000,000 in one week.

I decided it would be interesting to take a look at the top grossing domestic films to see where this would be on the list if it was a movie.  According to the list on Box Office Mojo, this would place it just $2 million ahead of 12th place, Jurassic Park.  For all of 2007, the movie industry grossed $9.6 billion, and so far this year, the video game industry has grossed $6.6 billion, on track to top somewhere between $21 and $23 billion.

So, are we looking at the gaming industry doing nothing but growing?  The film industry has been suffering from diminishing ticket sales, and as readers of this blog know, I feel it’s from a severe lack of fresh material.  True, video games do get the bonus of being virtual, so they can create the most fantastical settings they want with no extra cost in “building”, but their stories are also fresher.  I’m not a fan of the GTA series, but from what I know of them, people do enjoy the storylines of building your way to being a top criminal.

You also have to look at a value for money when it comes to what is going on with films.  According to the National Association of Theater Owners, the average price for a movie ticket in the USA in 2007 was $6.88.  A movie averages 90-minutes in length, meaning you spend approximately $.08 a minute for the movie.  GTA IV costs $59.99 for a reported 40-hours of game play, which works out to around $.02 a minute.  I know this is a highly simplistic way to look at it, but you also add in the cost of gas to go to the theater, snacks, wasted time in a theater, popping in a video game starts to look a lot more appealing.

Several years ago I went to a conference of video retailers, and I heard something that stuck with me like nothing else I had ever heard at a conference: “We aren’t in just a battle for their entertainment dollar, we’re in a battle for their disposable time.”  If someone is spending 40 hours playing GTA IV, that is 40 hours not watching TV or going to movies.  If anyone in the entertainment field starts to wonder about diminishing funds, I think we’ve found your culprit.

***MAJOR SPOILERS***

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I don’t like jumping all over stories Engadget carries, but this one is fairly exciting to me.

I’ve mentioned Sling Media products in passing on this blog, but never in depth.  So, what is it?  Essentially it is a “place shifting” device that allows you to hook up a piece of hardware to your Internet connection, and then you run your receiver through the device so that you can log-in to the device via a piece of software on your computer from anywhere in the world.  You then have full control of your tuner from the computer and can watch your television at your convenience, from wherever you like.

There has been some questions over the legality of this, mainly from Major League Baseball, but that seems to all be in the past now.  So long as it is for personal use, there really isn’t much that can be said.

The exciting bit I mentioned above was that I somehow missed the news this past September that EchoStar, the owners of Dish Network, bought Sling Media.  As one would suspect, they are going to integrate the Sling technology into their upcoming ViP 722 HD-DVR.  While it’s nice to see the all-in-one idea, the best part for those familiar with Sling Boxes is that this means no “IR Blasters”!  If any part of the Sling system irritates me, it is those stupid little black IR (infrared) shooters you have to position above and below your IR receiver so the box can take control.

I’m a DirecTV subscriber, so this won’t be an option for me, but it excites me for the possible future of the technology.  What other types of devices might we see it built on to?  Not only that, but this will also make setting the system up a lot easier for people who might have feared that they might not be able to handle it.  Now all it should take is plugging in an Ethernet cable, and installing their software on the computer.

As I have admitted before, I watch All My Children. Laugh if you must, I own up to it. And not long ago, I also added watching The Young and the Restless. It is actually better than AMC, but I’ve been watching that one so long, I doubt I could stop if I wanted to. (as I’ve said before, “listening” is more accurate as to what I do with television)

However, there is something that has come to bother the hell out of me about both soaps: Geography.

Yes, I can handle poisonings, baby swaps, amnesia, cheating spouses and on and on, but their geography is just bugging the heck out of me!

The Young and the Restless happens in the semi-fictional city of Genoa City, Wisconsin (the real one has a population of under 2,000). We are to believe that this Wisconsin town has

• Multiple major corporations
• An international airport
• A leading hospital
• Is now the home of a major fashion magazine… because models pass through all the time, don’t ya know
• Not one, but two major cosmetics companies

Fine, in today’s world, corporations can be anywhere thanks to the Internet, but a major international airport? Sure a fashion magazine could use the same Internet excuse, but wouldn’t you kind of want to be near where the designers and models are?

Then there is All My Children which takes place in Pine Valley, Pennsylvania. This city suffers from some of the same problems as Genoa City.

• Multiple major corporations
• An international airport (with direct flights to and from Paris)
• Two major cosmetics companies
• A hit daytime talk show… because celebrities pass through all the time, don’t ya know
• Ocean front property

…

Yes… I said “ocean front property”. It has been referenced several times that they can take their yachts to New York City or sail them down the coast to Florida, as they did in May 2005 for a wedding, but, yet… Pennsylvania does not touch any oceans. We’ve heard the waves breaking on the beach, people talk about how cold the ocean must be… YOU’RE IN PENNSYLVANIA! Yes, it touches Lake Erie, so in theory you could get to the ocean from the north, or through the southern part of the state if you wanted to go down the Potomac, but they have clearly mentioned “the ocean”.

I think all of this first got on my nerves about a year ago when One Life To Live, which takes place 30-miles from Pine Valley in Llanview, PA was having a “dangerous blizzard”. Over in Pine Valley? They were wearing wind breakers and sleeveless dresses. Because… I don’t know, I’m sure there was a plausible explanation… we never heard…

I know, I know, its odd to argue the silliness of soap opera geographies, but come on, can’t we keep the wackiness to suddenly discovering someone is alive who “died” 20 years ago and we’ve even seen their “ghost” during that time span? Keep the oceans where they belong!

Fox is bringing only two new shows to the schedule for the fall season.

MONDAY
8:00 pm Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
9:00 pm Prison Break

TUESDAY
8:00 pm House
9:00 pm Fringe

WEDNESDAY
8:00 pm Bones
9:00 pm ‘Til Death
9:30 pm Do Not Disturb

THURSDAY
8:00 pm The Moment Of Truth
9:00 pm Kitchen Nightmares

FRIDAY
8:00 pm Are You Smarter Than A 5th grader?
9:00 pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics!

SATURDAY
8:00 pm COPS
8:30 pm COPS
9:00 pm America’s Most Wanted: America Fights Back
11:00 pm MADtv
12:00 am Talkshow With Spike Feresten

SUNDAY
7:00 pm The OT (NFL post-game)
8:00 pm The Simpsons
8:30 pm King of the Hill
9:00 pm Family Guy
9:30 pm American Dad

New Show Descriptions

Fringe
(Drama, Tuesdays 9:00 pm)
From J.J. Abrams (“Lost”), Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, the team behind “Star Trek,” “Mission: Impossible III” and “Alias,” comes a new drama that will thrill, terrify and explore the blurring line between science fiction and reality. When an international flight lands at Boston’s Logan Airport and the passengers and crew have all died grisly deaths, FBI Special Agent OLIVIA DUNHAM (newcomer Anna Torv) is called in to investigate. After her partner, Special Agent JOHN SCOTT (Mark Valley, “Boston Legal”), is nearly killed during the investigation, a desperate Olivia searches frantically for someone to help, leading her to DR. WALTER BISHOP (John Noble, “Lord of the Rings”), our generation’s Einstein. There’s only one catch: he’s been institutionalized for the last 20 years, and the only way to question him requires pulling his estranged son PETER (Joshua Jackson, “Dawson’s Creek”) in to help. When Olivia’s investigation leads her to manipulative corporate executive NINA SHARP (Blair Brown, “Altered States”), our unlikely trio along with fellow FBI Agents PHILLIP BROYLES (Lance Reddick, “The Wire”), CHARLIE FRANCIS (Kirk Acevedo, “Oz”) and ASTRID FARNSWORTH (Jasika Nicole, “Law & Order: Criminal Intent”) will discover that what happened on Flight 627 is only a small piece of a larger, more shocking truth.

Sean’s Take: J.J. Abrams can seem to do no wrong lately, so I’m sure this due well for a while at least.  What is his obsession with planes involved in mysteries, though?

Do Not Disturb (working title)
(Comedy, Wednesdays 9:30 pm)
DO NOT DISTURB (working title) is a hilarious workplace comedy set at one of New York City’s hottest and hippest hotels: The Inn. Named one of the Big Apple’s “10 Best Places to Stay,” The Inn is just that – the “in” place to be, with its chic décor, stylish staff and celebrity clientèle. Behind the scenes, however, the upstairs/downstairs dynamic tells quite a different story. The hotel’s top-notch reputation and sophisticated look is due in large part to NEAL (Jerry O’Connell, “Crossing Jordan”) – at least in his opinion. Although The Inn’s charismatic owner R.J. (guest star Robert Wagner) takes all the credit, Neal is the egotistical, hyper-stylish, detail-oriented general manager who will do whatever it takes to keep the hotel and its employees up to his standards. RHONDA (Niecy Nash, “Reno 911!”) is the head of Human Resources who also keeps Neal’s demands in check. She’s brash, fabulous and brutally honest and runs the HR department from her bullpen downstairs with a set of rules that are all her own. Rhonda does her best to keep the back of the house in line and the front of the house out of trouble. At the front desk handling check-in while wearing 6-inch Manolos is NICOLE (Molly Stanton, “Twins”), an aging model who is svelte, cynical and slightly starving. Fresh from Nebraska is JASON (Brando Eaton, “Zoey 101”), the naïve bellman who would prefer to work behind-the-scenes, but was hired to show off his chiseled face and perfect pecs at the front of the hotel. The downstairs staff includes MOLLY (Jolene Purdy, “Donnie Darko”), a reservations clerk who dreams of pop-singer stardom as much as she craves to be part of the action upstairs; and LARRY (Jesse Tyler Ferguson, “The Class”), the head of housekeeping who spends more time on the phone cleaning up his messes at home than he does cleaning up after the guests upstairs.

Sean’s Take: I really not sure what to make of this one, but I’m going with “flop”.  It just doesn’t seem to be a strong premise to me.

eh… it’s Fox, what do you expect from them?

Since there are no upfront presentations today, I thought I’d score myself on how I called last season’s predictions.

ABC

Samantha Who? (formerly “Sam I Am”)

Sean’s take: Sam I Am stars Christina Applegate… anyone remember “Jesse”? Yeah… exactly my point. In sandwiching this between Dancing With The Stars and The Bachelor makes NO sense. And could someone tell me how The Bachelor keeps finding this many desperate women?

It survived, and actually got decent reviews and ratings.

Caveman and Carpoolers

Sean’s take: No one, NO ONE, is upbeat about Caveman. I have no clue how it even made the schedule. And Carpoolers? A sitcom set… in a car… yeah, okay.

Both flopped.

Pushing Daisies, Private Practice, Dirty Sexy Money

Sean’s take: All three sound like crap basically. I don’t like Grey’s Anatomy, so Private Practice holds no interest for me. Dirty Sexy Money is just a silly name, and Pushing Daisies… look, it’s Dark Angel season 2! Private Practice may last, the other two won’t.

Well, I ended up loving Pushing Daisies, and all three went on to second seasons. Wow did I blow this line-up.

Big Shots

Sean’s take: Is it just me, or does Big Shots sound like a drama version of the earlier discussed Carpool?

This never even made it to air. I’ll count it in my favor!

Women’s Murder Club

Sean’s take: I like James Patterson, so Women’s Murder Club may be okay, but, sucky time slot.

It got the ax.

ABC Score: 4 out of 8

CBS

Big Bang Theory

Sean’s take: Big Bang Theory could be mildly amusing, but it won’t last. It’s a one or two joke show, better as a movie… that’s already been done to death.

I ended up watching it and liking it, and it got a second season. Though I was right about it only being one or two jokes.

Cane

Sean’s take: Cane might be okay, but, again, it sounds like the plot of a movie, not a series. That always spells trouble to me.

Cancelled.

Kid Nation

Sean’s take: … um… Kid Nation sounds really, REALLY god awful. This description prompted me to email the friend who got me the show descriptions and ask her if she had made this one up.

It got in all sorts of legal trouble and won’t be getting a second season.

Moonlight

Sean’s take: OH WOW! Angel is back on the air!

Cancelled.

Viva Laughlin

Sean’s take: I enjoyed the British original, Viva Blackpool, but it was also only six episodes long, not twenty-two. This will go over about as well as Cop Rock did, which is sad. Cop Rock sucked… Viva Blackpool didn’t.

I was wrong… it went over WORSE than Cop Rock. However, it still counts for me!

CBS Score: 4 out of 5

Fox

K-Ville

Sean’s take: For a “drama”, the description for K-Ville sure mentions “comedy” a lot.

Cancelled.

New Amsterdam

Sean’s take: I give New Amsterdam six episodes. It’s Highlander as a cop. Who cares?

Canceled… after eight episodes. You have to give me points for being darn close!

Back To You

Sean’s take: If Back To You was on any other network, I’d be pumped. I love Kelsey Grammer. But, it’s on Fox, so my expectations drop dramatically.

Axed.

Kitchen Nightmares

Sean’s take: I love the British version of Kitchen Nightmares, also hosted by Ramsay, but not sure how the American audience at large will take to this.

Second season in the works.

Search For The Next Great American Band and Nashville

Sean’s take: Well… American Band is just CBS’ Rockstar with a loose connection to American Idol. And Nashville sounds like a snoozer to me.

Both got the ax.

Fox Score: 5 out of 6

NBC

Journeyman

Sean’s take: Journeyman? I liked this show when it was called QUANTUM LEAP! If it survives the season, I’ll be shocked

Well, it was better than I expected, but I was correct in that it got axed at episode 13.

Chuck

Sean’s take: Chuck won’t make it. Stupid name, format is wrong for TV.

bzzt, it got a second season.

Bionic Woman and Life

Sean’s take: Bionic Woman will flop… badly. Life sounds like a movie, not a series.

1 for 2 here, Life is going on, Bionic Woman crashed and burned.

The Singing Bee

Sean’s take: The Singing Bee? Really… do I need to say anything?

Eh, it stuck around longer than I thought it would, but it’s missing from the new schedule.

Lipstick Jungle

Sean’s take: Lipstick Jungle could go either way. Depends on how different from Sex And The City it is. If they try doing a sanitized version of it, with nothing original, MAJOR flop.

Well… hmmm, I guess I was sorta 1/2 right.

NBC Score: 3.5 out of 6

The CW

Aliens In America

Sean’s take: Aliens In America… I want to see some footage. I’m very neutral to the material for now.

Cancelled.

Reaper

Sean’s take: The Reaper… hello “Brimstone” from the Fox 1998 schedule! Wait… it’s a comedy?!? Um… yeah… again, I’ll have to see footage.

Renewed. It was so-so.

Gossip Girl

Sean’s take: Yay! I don’t have to go anywhere near channel 385 on Wednesday’s! YAY!

Renewed.

Online Nation, CW Now, Life Is Wild

Sean’s take: Well… yet another “Watch videos from the web!” show, and a show that will make teenagers attention spans even shorter as they are force fed a line of what someone in office has deemed “cool and hip”. Yeah… won’t be watching. Life Is Wild… isn’t this based on yet another British series? Do we have NO original ideas left in America?!?

Did any of these even make it to air?!? Oh well, they aren’t on the upcoming schedule.

The CW Score: 4 out of 6

So, my final score is somewhere around 20.5 out of 31, depending on how you define some things. Not a bad over all score, but it also helps I am extremely harsh on everything I guess.

CBS has announced their lineup for the fall season. Look… more shows from England! New shows are in bold.

MONDAY
8:00 pm The Big Bang Theory
8:30 pm How I Met Your Mother
9:00 pm Two And A Half Men
9:30 pm Worst Week
10:00 pm CSI: Miami

TUESDAY
8:00 pm NCIS
9:00 pm The Mentalist
10:00 pm Without A Trace

WEDNESDAY
8:00 pm The New Adventures of Old Christine
8:30 pm Project Gary
9:00 pm Criminal Minds
10:00 pm CSI: NY

THURSDAY
8:00 pm Survivor
9:00 pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
10:00 pm Eleventh Hour

FRIDAY
8:00 pm Ghost Whisperer
9:00 pm The Ex List
10:00 pm Numb3rs

SATURDAY
8:00 pm Crimetime Saturday
9:00 pm Crimetime Saturday
10:00 pm 48 Hours Mystery

SUNDAY
7:00 pm 60 Minutes
8:00 pm The Amazing Race
9:00 pm Cold Case
10:00 pm The Unit

New Show Descriptions

Worst Week
(Comedy, Mondays 9:30 pm)
WORST WEEK is a comedy about Sam Briggs, an entertainment magazine editor who will do anything to please his girlfriend’s parents … but instead becomes a one-man wrecking crew whenever he’s around them. Sam (Kyle Bornheimer, “Jericho”) and his girlfriend, Melanie Clayton (Erinn Hayes, “Kitchen Confidential”), have only one hurdle left to clear as they start their life together: breaking the news to Mel’s conservative parents that they have a wedding in the works and a baby on the way. Dick (Kurtwood Smith, “That ’70s Show”), a stern Judge, and his wife Angela (Nancy Lenehan, “My Name is Earl”), are protective of their daughter, and are really trying to let go of the anger they feel toward Sam … after all, disaster follows whenever he visits their house. But despite his best efforts, every time Sam takes one positive step forward in winning over his future in-laws, he inevitably takes two crushing steps back. But with support and love from Melanie who stands up for him despite his knack for making himself look bad, Sam will hopefully charm his way into her family. Emmy Award winner Adam Bernstein (”30 Rock”) directed the pilot. Matt Tarses (”Scrubs”) and Jimmy Mulville (”Whose Line Is It Anyway?”) are the executive producers for Universal Media Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television.

Sean’s Take: This show was pretty amusing in the British version, but it worked because each season (there were only two, and the second had the wife being pregnant) was only 6 or 7 episodes.  This will, as so many other British conversions, suffer from the length of our seasons.

Project Gary
(Comedy, Wednesdays 8:30 pm)
PROJECT GARY stars Jay Mohr (”Ghost Whisperer”) and Paula Marshall (”Nip/Tuck”) in a comedy about Gary Barnes, a recently single painting contractor, and his controlling ex-wife, Allison, who face post-divorce mayhem after 15 years of marriage as they each embark on new relationships. He’s the fun parent and she’s the strict one. Together, they share custody of their two children - Louise (Laura Marano, “Without a Trace”), a politically correct and environmentally conscious 11-year-old, and Tom (Ryan Malgarini, “How to Eat Fried Worms”), their socially awkward 14-year-old son who is nervous around girls. Charming and acerbic, Gary hasn’t dated since the split, but finally connects with Vanessa (Jaime King, “The Class”), a single mother whose condo he was hired to paint. He dreads telling Allison about Vanessa because it doesn’t adhere to her belief in their marriage counselor’s book, “Rules for the Perfect Divorce.” However, when Allison tells him that she’s engaged to their shrink, all bets are off and Gary decides it’s time to move forward. Now, in pursuit of post-marriage happiness, Gary must juggle his eclectic world of an ex-wife, their two kids, their shrink and his gorgeous new girlfriend. Ed Yeager (”Still Standing”) and Ric Swartzlander (”8 Simple Rules”) are the executive producers for ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television.

Sean’s Take: Nice premise for a simple comedy film… not a series.  This will become repetitive very quickly, and once the wife runs off with the shrink, what’s the point?  He can just live his life, so much for the “juggling” angle.  Sounds pretty weak.

The Mentalist
(Drama, Tuesdays 9:00 pm)
THE MENTALIST stars Golden Globe Award nominee Simon Baker (”The Devil Wears Prada”) as Patrick Jane, a detective and independent consultant with the California Bureau of Investigation (CBI), who has a remarkable track record for solving serious crimes by using his razor sharp skills of observation. Within the Bureau, Jane is notorious for his blatant lack of protocol and his semi-celebrity past as a psychic medium, whose paranormal abilities he now admits he feigned. Jane’s role in cracking a series of tough high-profile cases is greatly valued by his fellow agents. However, no-nonsense Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon (Robin Tunney, “Prison Break”) openly resists having Jane in her unit and alternates between reluctantly acknowledging Jane’s usefulness and blasting him for his theatrics, narcissism and dangerous lack of boundaries. Lisbon’s team includes agents Kimball Cho (Tim Kang, “Rambo”), Wayne Rigsby (Owain Yeoman, “The Nine”), and rookie member Grace Van Pelt (Amanda Righetti, “The O.C.”), who all think Jane’s a loose cannon but admire his charm and knack for clearing cases. Bruno Heller (creator of “Rome”) is creator/executive producer, and Emmy Award winner David Nutter (”Band of Brothers”) is the executive producer for Warner Bros. Television.

Sean’s Take: So… it’s a cop show with some faked mental powers thrown in?  Wasn’t this already done on Psych?  This description just sounds amazingly weak and repetitive of so many cop shows that it just holds no appeal at all.

Eleventh Hour
(Drama, Thursdays 10:00 pm)
ELEVENTH HOUR from acclaimed producer Jerry Bruckheimer follows Dr. Jacob Hood (Rufus Sewell, “The Illusionist”), a brilliant biophysicist and special science advisor to the government, as he investigates scientific crises and oddities. His jurisdiction is absolute and Hood is dogged in his pursuit of those who would abuse and misuse scientific discoveries and breakthroughs for their own gain. His passion and crusade is to protect the substance of science from those with nefarious motives. He is called in at the eleventh hour and he represents the last line of defense. Based on the British miniseries by acclaimed science-fiction writer Stephen Gallagher, the series is executive produced by Bruckheimer (”CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” “Pirates of the Caribbean”), Jonathan Littman (”CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” “Cold Case”), Danny Cannon (”CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” “CSI: Miami”), Cyrus Voris (”Bulletproof Monk”), Ethan Reiff (”Sleeper Cell”), Mick Davis (”Wake of Death”), and Paul Buccieri (”Fashion House”) for Jerry Bruckheimer Television in association with Warner Bros. Television.

Sean’s Take: I’ve heard of the British version, but never seen it.  It sounds mildly intriguing, and Bruckheimer does “okay” stuff, so this one may be worth one or two looks, but I expect it to be pretty “procedural crime drama” in its take.

The Ex List
(Drama, Fridays 9:00 pm)
THE EX LIST is a comedic drama about Bella Bloom (Elizabeth Reaser, “Grey’s Anatomy”) - a single, 30-something, successful business owner who is surprised to learn from a psychic that she’s already dated her future husband AND there’s a catch: if she doesn’t find him in the next year, she’ll remain alone forever. During a bachelorette party for her sister, Daphne (Rachel Boston, “American Dreams”), Bella learns from the psychic she must revisit her past relationships and sort through the mistakes to find her soul mate. Skeptical, Bella begins to analyze every past liaison and failed romance with her close circle of friends, Augie (Adam Rothenberg, “Mad Money”), an endearing guy who has listened to Bella’s love woes since college, Vivian (Alex Breckenridge, “Dirt”), Augie’s long-term girlfriend, and Cyrus (Amir Talai, “Campus Ladies”), who’s chronically unemployed and full of wry observations. Once Bella witnesses proof of the psychic’s other predictions, her cynicism disappears and she begins her search. Along her trip down break-up lane, Bella is determined to remain optimistic and receptive, believing that when destiny reopens doors to the past, every relationship can matter in the future. Diane Ruggiero (”Veronica Mars”) and Jonathan Levin (”Charmed”) are executive producers for Twentieth Century Fox Television.

Sean’s Take: So, it has a set limited time span… that could backfire.  If you know the guy will be her husband, and you know she has to find him within a year… what do you do after she finds him?  Examining the past relationships might be amusing, but it sounds like they’ve painted themselves into a corner from the start to me.

I think these new shows just let us know that CBS is fairly happy with their course, and there is no real need to change things up.  I will say their slate is the most encouraging yet, but that isn’t saying a whole heck of a lot.